


peter-man - oh, fuck - i mean spider-man.

by turtle_bean



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: (just thought you should know), (literally), 5 Things, 5+1 Things, Adopted Peter Parker, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angry Peter Parker, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxious Peter Parker, Artificial Intelligence, Avengers Tower, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Awesome May Parker (Spider-Man), Betty Brant is a Good Bro, Bisexual Michelle Jones, Bombs, Bus, Canon Divergence - Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Chapter 3, Civil War Team Iron Man, Cloak of Levitation & Peter Parker Friendship, Cloak of Levitation (Marvel), Competition, Daily Bugle, Dead May Parker (Spider-Man), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Essays, Ever - Freeform, Fake Science, Family, Fans, Field Trip, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Funeral, Genius Peter Parker, Genius Tony Stark, Good Friend Ned Leeds, Guidance Counselors, Guilt, Guilty Peter Parker, Gun Violence, Guns, Gunshot Wounds, High School, Hostage Situations, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I Wrote This While Listening to French Music I Didn't Understand, I Wrote This While Listening to Hozier's Music, I promise, Identity Porn, Identity Reveal, Injured Peter Parker, Irondad, John Mulaney References, Kidnapping, Laboratories, Lesbian Carol Danvers, Like, Memes, Mentioned Ben Parker, Michelle Jones knows all, Midtown High, Mugging, Multi, Mysterious Michelle Jones, NOT STARKER - Freeform, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Natasha Romanov Knows All, Ned Leeds is a Good Bro, Nerd Peter Parker, No Lesbians Die, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Not Spider-Man: Homecoming Compliant, Oblivious Peter Parker, One Shot Collection, POV Original Character, POV Outsider, Parent Tony Stark, Pepper Potts Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Pepper Potts is a Tired Mom, Peter Parker Calls Tony Stark "Dad", Peter Parker Has Issues, Peter Parker Has Panic Attacks, Peter Parker Is So Done, Peter Parker Lacks Self-Preservation Instincts, Peter Parker Loves Tony Stark, Peter Parker Meets the Avengers, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker Whump, Peter Parker is a Mess, Peter Parker is an idiot, Peter Parker's Field Trip to Stark Industries, Peter Snaps, Peter has no idea what he's doing, Phone Calls & Telephones, Pizza, Presumed Dead, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Ned Leeds, Protective Tony Stark, Roger Harrington Knows Bruce Banner, Roger Harrington Needs a Hug, Sad Peter Parker, Sad with a Happy Ending, Sassy Peter Parker, Scars, School Shootings, Secret Identity, Secret Identity Fail, Smart Peter Parker, Social Media, Someone give Peter a hug, Sparring, Spider-Man Identity Reveal, Spider-Man's Fan Club, Spidey Sense (Marvel), Stabbing, Stark Industries, Stark Tower, Stephen Strange Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Stephen Strange is a Good Bro, Stressful Situations, Strong Peter Parker, Studying, Team Red (Marvel) - Freeform, Team as Family, Teen Peter Parker, Texting, The Ten Rings (Marvel), The White House, Therapy, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Panic Attacks, Tony Stark Lives, Tony Stark Loves Peter Parker, Tony Stark gives a hug, Tony stark means well, Trans Male Peter Parker, Trans Peter Parker, Twitter, Useless Lesbians, Whump, Why Did I Write This?, With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility, Worried Ned Leeds, Worried Peter Parker, abes neighbor is deadpool, anyway, briefly, bruce banner is just tired, bruce banner needs to go to sleep again, bruce banner needs to sleep, but he's not helping, but hes also a bit of a jerk, family day, flash is a spider-man stan, flash thompson redemption kind of, guilt complexes, i do not know physics, i love her i swear why do i keep killing her, i need that tag on all of my works, im ignoring the fact that he sold it because i want to, its mentioned - Freeform, midtown - Freeform, misuse of spidey-sense, mj is soft shhhhh, ned leeds attempts to be a good bro, ned leeds is the best of bros, no beta we die like gladiators, oh my god its a tag, one shots, peter cannot have coffee, peter is really bad at secret identities, peter parker also loves bruce banner, peter parker is a self sacrificial idiot, peter parker is done with the world, peter parker is not a male escort, peter parker is so dumb, peter parker is still not a male escort, peter parker knows the president, peters identity is very secret, pining lesbians, quizlets, really bad, salty peter parker, suspicious peter parker, the avengers do not know peter, the avengers dont understand secret identities, the o.g spider-suit, the on speaker trope, there's twitter in this now, tony stark doesn't know him though, tony stark has too much money, why have so many people read this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-17 03:15:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 21
Words: 32,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28842213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/turtle_bean/pseuds/turtle_bean
Summary: identity reveal one-shots. none will have permanent angst, but some will be angstier than others. in general they should be fluffy and cracky. identity reveals are my favorite :))ft: irondad, peter parker being a Dumbass, the acadec team (bc i love them), and mj & peter & ned friendship.disclaimer: i do not own marvel, nor the universe or their characters that i use here.enjoy!!
Relationships: Academic Decathlon Team (Spider-Man: Homecoming) & Avengers Team, Academic Decathlon Team (Spider-Man: Homecoming) & Peter Parker, Bruce Banner & Peter Parker, Carol Danvers/Original Female Character(s), Michelle Jones & Ned Leeds & Peter Parker, Michelle Jones & Peter Parker, Ned Leeds & Peter Parker, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added, Peter Parker & Avengers Team, Peter Parker & Natasha Romanov, Peter Parker & Original Female Character(s), Peter Parker & Other(s), Peter Parker & Pepper Potts, Peter Parker & Stephen Strange, Peter Parker & Steve Rogers, Peter Parker & Thor, Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Wade Wilson, Scott Lang & Peter Parker, chapter 5 - Relationship, peter parker & dumbassery, peter parker & president matthew ellis, that should be a tag - Relationship
Comments: 231
Kudos: 1229
Collections: Peter_gets_Phone_calls, Peters_many_unfortunate_fieldtrips, Spider-Man Public Identity Reveal, escapism (to forget that the world is a burning hellscape)





	1. school shooting at midtown.

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Revealed](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24423877) by [Lebaas](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lebaas/pseuds/Lebaas). 



> tw: gun violence, school shooting. ((no one dies though))

“Parker!” Coach Wilson shouted as Peter lazily jogged around the track. “I’ve seen you go faster than that, put in the work, pick up the pace.” 

Peter shot a look to Ned and jogged slightly faster. 

Suddenly, out of absolutely nowhere, Peter’s spidey-sense BLARED and he stopped in his tracks abruptly. “Ned,” Peter whispered. “Ned -” 

But Peter didn’t have time to finish his sentiment, because the alarm immediately began blaring. “Active shooter, this is not a drill, I repeat, this is not a drill.” 

Peter’s heart caught in his throat as he ran under the bleachers, following the rest of his class. 

Betty was calling her parents, Charles was saying some sort of prayer, Cindy was crying softly, Flash looked utterly petrified, Sally was full-on sobbing, Abe was frantically texting his sister, even MJ looked nervous. 

“Everyone needs to remain as quiet as they possibly can,” Coach Wilson whispered, and several students stuffed their fists in their mouths to muffle their sobs. 

“Peter,” Ned hissed with wide eyes. 

Peter felt utterly useless. He didn’t have his suit. What could he do? 

“Peter, you need to call Mr. Stark!” Ned whispered. 

Three bullets sounded. 

Crack. Crack. Crack. 

Each one pierced his ears and he felt a tear run down his cheek. None of the other students reacted to it, however, so the shooters must be far away. 

“Okay, okay, okay, it’s going to be okay,” Peter whispered under his breath, mainly to himself. He pulled out his phone, scrolled through the contacts, and his finger hovered over his mentor’s phone number. Ned gave him a meaningful look, so he pressed it. 

Ring... 

Ring... 

Ring... 

“Pete? Aren’t you supposed to be in school?” 

Peter muffled a cry. “Mr. - Mr. Stark,” he managed to get out, biting down on his tongue to keep from bursting out in tears. “Please,” he whispered. 

“What’s going on, kid? Talk to me, please, FRI, give me a suit. ETA ten minutes, Pete, what’s going on?” 

“I don’t have my suit,” Peter whispered. “I don’t have my suit.” 

“Peter, bambino, you’re going to be okay, I promise, please tell me what’s happening.” 

“They have guns,” Peter said. 

“Fuck. Peter -” 

Five bullets, this time. 

Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. 

From the muffled screams and sobs, Peter figured the shooter was getting closer. 

“Pete? Pete? Are you okay? Please, Pete, please, you need to be okay, just tell me you’re alive, bambino, please.” 

Peter whimpered in response. 

“Okay, Pete, that’s all I needed. I have six more minutes. FRI, all power to thrusters, maximum speed. I’m coming, Peter, I’m not going to let anything happen to you.” 

Crack. 

“Pete?” 

“’M okay.” 

Crack. Crack. 

“Three minutes, Pete.” 

Crack. Crack. Crack. Crack. 

Everyone was sobbing at this point, including Coach Wilson. The bullets sounded closer than ever. They sounded as though they were right behind the door to the gym... 

“Pete? Pete? Pete? Please, Pete, please. Answer me if you can hear me, Pete, please.” 

Peter let out a small sob. 

“Thank God, bambino, fifty more seconds.” 

“I- I hear the – the thrust-” 

But Peter couldn’t finish his sentence because the door was battered open. 

“Shit,” Peter whispered. 

“Peter. Peter, don’t do something stupid.” 

Peter hung up as an armed man came into his view. He knew that they would be visible, he could only hope that the bleachers would protect them from any bullets. 

His spidey-sense flared. The man cocked the gun. A bullet rang out, headed straight for MJ’s forehead. 

Everything happened in slow-motion. The bullet, Iron Man crashing through the window, Peter diving in front of MJ. 

And then – pain. Pain, pain, pain, and Peter had been shot before, but that was with the suit, and he was more thankful for the suit than ever before because goddammit, being shot fucking HURT. And he knew he was screaming, and he knew that he had leapt inhumanly fast, and he knew that Mr. Stark was saying something, and he knew that Iron Man was flying him out the window, but all he understood was PAIN PAIN PAIN. 

And then – black. 

\--- 

Betty opened her eyes. A ray of sun bounced of the gun on the floor, and beside the gun was an unconscious man. And she let herself sob. 

And sob, and sob, and sob, until she could hardly breathe, but it didn’t matter, because she could have DIED. Everyone was sobbing, and it was okay, they were okay, but they almost weren’t, and that was fucking scary. 

“Pete, please, goddammit, Pete -” 

Betty sniffed and gulped in a breath of fresh air, her eyes searching to find the voice – and why did it sound so familiar? Ah. Because it was the voice of Anthony Edward Stark, holding Peter Parker in his hands. The Peter Parker who had leapt in front of a bullet for MJ and now had a hole in his side. 

Wonderful. 

But Betty certainly couldn’t comprehend any of this information right now, so she just let herself... breathe. 

\--- 

Peter woke up to incessant beeping and he groaned softly. 

“Peter, thank God,” Tony said. 

Peter looked up at his mentor through squinted eyes and saw his blotchy red face. 

“S’rry, Mis’sr St’rk, she was g’ng t’ die.” 

“Go back to sleep, bambino.” 

Peter was already asleep. 

\--- 

A few hours later, Peter awoke again, feeling nice and refreshed. He stretched his arms, breathed in, squeezed his eyes shut as if to forget all of the memories, and stood up from the bed. 

“Kid -” 

“Did anyone die?” Peter asked in a small voice, his throat closing up. 

“No.” 

Peter’s eyes widened and he looked up. “But - but I heard at least ten shots!” 

“Seven of them must have missed. Two teachers were injured and another student, besides you, but that’s it. No one died.” 

Peter smiled softly even though his heart still felt heavy. “Okay. That’s good.” 

\--- 

The next day, he returned to school. School had been cancelled the day after the shooting, so he hadn’t missed anything. When MJ caught his glance, she bit her lip. 

“Thanks, loser,” she said. But Peter saw the way she clasped her fingers together tightly, and the way her voice shook at the end of the sentence, and immediately saw through her facade of nonchalance. 

“It’s - it was no problem, MJ.” 

Before MJ could respond, Betty came barreling into the moment, and threw herself at Peter. 

“Oh my GOD, Peter, we thought you were dead, holy shit, holy shit, you weren’t responding to any of us and I was SO SCARED, what the fuck?” 

Peter awkwardly patted her on the back. “Uh, sorry, I wasn’t really on my phone.” 

Betty pulled away suspiciously and wiped at her eyes. “Yeah. Because you were shot. Speaking of, why the hell are you in school? And how the hell are you walking?” 

Peter froze. He was so stupid. Everyone had been in shock during the shooting, they probably hadn’t noticed the superhuman way that Peter had saved MJ. But the superhuman way that he was healing was very suspicious. 

“It - It was only a graze?” 

Betty sniffed and shook her head at him. “At least Flash won’t bother you about your internship anymore.” 

“That’s a very small at least,” Peter said, taking a deep breath. 

The shooting was all over the news. Midtown was a famously respected school, after all. Everyone was shocked. Unfortunately, that also meant that reporters wanted everything they could get. 

So, when Peter exited to go to the Tower, he was greeted by flashing cameras and reporters shoving microphones in his face. 

“Peter Parker, our sources say that you called Mr. Stark because you are his personal intern. What do you have to say to this claim?” 

“Uh, yeah, it’s true.” 

“Mr. Parker, Eddie from the New York Times here, reports say that you took a bullet for a classmate, how are you standing here today?” 

“Because I’m Spider-Man?” Peter froze. He had not meant to say that. “Shit!” He whispered underneath his breath as the reporters got about a hundred times worse. 

But the familiar sound of the thrusters brought Peter out of his internal panic. 

“Please step away from the kid,” Tony said, flipping his faceplate up. 

“Is it true that Peter Parker is Spider-Man?” 

Tony gave Peter a Look(tm), and Peter groaned and put his head in his hands. “I didn’t mean to, Mr. Stark, it just came out! They asked why I was here today if I was shot! What was I supposed to say?” 

Stepping out of the suit, Tony brought Peter into a hug. He knew this was a terrible thing to do in front of reporters, and Pepper would give him an earful later, but feeling Peter’s tension melt away under his fingers was worth it. 

“It’s okay, bambino,” Tony said softly, and then he turned to the growing crowd. “Yes. Peter Parker is Spider-Man.”


	2. the trip to the white house.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> or, thor doesn't understand what a secret identity is.  
> peter's acadec team wins a trip to the white house for their win in nationals!! but there's a few other guests there,,,  
> disclaimer: all credit for the universe and the characters i use in this fic goes to marvel.  
> enjoy!!

Mr. Harrison bounced on his toes as he stood in front of the AcaDec team. 

“Is everyone ready for attendance?” He asked, shuffling the papers on his desk. 

Nobody responded, but he proceeded anyway. 

“Sally Avril?” 

“Here.” 

“Betty Brant?” 

“Present.” 

“Abe Brown?” 

Abe dinged his bell. 

“Michelle Jones?” 

MJ grunted. 

“Ned Leeds?” 

“Here!” Chirped Ned. 

“Cindy Moon?” 

“Yep.” 

“Seymour O’Reilly?” 

“Hi.” 

“Charles Murphy?” 

“I’m here.” 

“Brad Davis?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Peter Parker?” 

Peter was asleep. 

“Peter Parker?” 

Ned poked Peter in the face, and the boy awoke with a start, his eyes frantically darting across the room, and relaxing when he recognized the AcaDec study room. 

“Oh, uh, yeah, sorry, I’m here.” 

Mr. Harrington sighed. “Try to stay awake, please. And, finally, Flash Thompson?” 

“Yep,” he smirked. 

“Great. Now, I have some very exciting news. Due to our recent win at Nationals, we have been invited to tour the White House!” 

There were some screams. 

(Many, many screams, actually.) 

(Including one from Mr. Harrington.) 

“Please get these permission slips signed, as well as these Nondisclosure Agreements, just in the event that you see something you shouldn’t have seen, and return them to me by the end of the week. This will be a mandatory field trip, as it would be quite rude to decline a personal invitation to the White House!” Mr. Harrington shook his head in awe. “We will be escorted by a professional tour guide, and there is a slight chance that we may even get to briefly meet President Ellis! The trip will take place next Wednesday, and we will be leaving for D.C on Tuesday, and staying until Thursday, so plan accordingly. Alright, I’ll give you this period to talk amongst yourselves. Ms. Jones, if you could please distribute the permission slips and NDAs?” 

MJ held up a finger, scanning the rest of the page she was reading, put in her bookmark, and began passing out the forms. 

\--- 

Peter grinned as he read through the NDA. He was pretty familiar with the documents at this point, being the adoptive son of Tony Stark and Pepper Potts and all. He signed along the designated lines, and set the permission slip on the lab table. 

“Hey, dad?” He called. 

Tony slid out from underneath the car he was fixing up. “Yep, kiddo?” 

“Who should I ask to sign this permission slip? Since my AcaDec team won Nationals, we get to go to the White House and we might even meet the President!” 

“Pete, you’ve met Ellis before. Many times, actually.” 

“Yeah, but that was different!” 

“How so? You met him as my son, as Spider-Man, and also as a genius who made a major scientific breakthrough. How is a brief ‘hello, good job on winning Nationals,’ better?” 

Peter shrugged. “It’s just exciting, dad. Anyway, obviously you can’t sign it, so who should I ask?” 

“Happy can do it,” Tony said. “I’ll give it to him later. 

\--- 

On Thursday, Peter came to AcaDec with his signed forms, smiling from ear-to-ear, along with the rest of his teammates. They could meet the president! 

\--- 

Mr. Harrington’s smile stretched across his face as he did one final head-count of his students seated on the bus. Just for good measure, he took attendance as well. Satisfied, he gave the signal to the bus driver, and they began their 7-hour bus ride. 

\--- 

About three hours into the drive, Peter got a call from his father. 

“Dad?” Peter asked, picking up. “Is everything okay?” 

“Yeah, just wanted to check in. How’s your bus drive?” Tony’s voice sounded strained. 

“Oh, it’s alright. Kind of boring so far, we’re almost halfway there, though.” Peter knew why Tony was calling. Ever since Peter was snapped, it had been hard for the two to be apart for a long time. “What’s up with you?” 

Tony breathed heavily. “Can - can you just talk to me?” 

“Oh, uh, sure, dad. Well, Ned and MJ and I were talking about the trip, and I briefly mentioned that I had met him before, and Ned absolutely freaked out and made me tell him every single detail about every single time, and – oh my gosh, I almost forgot to tell you! Ned made me a Twitter account. So far, it’s just me quoting vines and Ned and MJ are the only people who have the account. I don’t really get the point of it, but it makes Ned happy, you know?” Peter could hear Tony’s breathing return to normal. 

“Thank you, Pete.” 

“No problem, dad.” Peter paused for a second. “I miss you too,” he said quietly. Of course, Flash chose that moment to butt in. 

“Aw, Parker misses his nonexistent daddy. Poor Petey!” 

“What the fuck, kid,” Tony said. 

“Uh, it’s nothing, bye dad!” Peter quickly hung up, his fists clenched. 

\--- 

When they were about half an hour away from their hotel, Mr. Harrington spoke up. 

“Alright, everyone, we’re almost there, I just wanted to go over the rules for this trip. First of all, we will all be sticking together. This is the White House that we’re talking about.” Mr. Harrington shot Peter a pleading look. “Please, please, please stay with the group. Next, do not walk up to anyone and start up a conversation. Everyone is incredibly busy, and we do not want to disrupt them. Finally, please be respectful at all times. You are representing Midtown on this trip, so I expect everyone to be on their best behavior. Am I understood?” 

There were various nods and yesses. 

“Great. Now, here are your room assignments for the hotel rooms: Cindy Moon and Sally Avril, Michelle Jones and Betty Brant, Brad Davis and Flash Thompson, Ned Leeds and Peter Parker, and Seymour O’Reilly, Charles Murphy, and Abe Brown will be sharing a room. Please do not make a mess of your hotel rooms, and room service and the mini fridge is included in our stay.” 

There were some excited mutters to this. 

“Rest up today, because we have an early start tomorrow. We will meet in my room, 707, at 7:30 AM sharp, and you should eat breakfast before this. From then, our private tour guide will pick us up and take us to the White House, and our tour is scheduled for 9:00 AM to 4:00 PM. Is everything clear?” 

Everything was clear. 

“Great.” 

\--- 

Ned and Peter settled happily into their room, and Tony immediately called Peter. 

“Hey, kid, I got an email from your teacher saying you’re settling into your rooms now. How’s it going? Are you with Ted?” 

“Yes, dad, I’m with NED, and it’s good. We get room service!” 

Peter heard Tony sigh. “Peter. Bambino. Your father is a billionaire. If you want room service, you can always have room service.” 

“It’s different, dad, I’ve never gotten room service from a fancy hotel before!” 

“Whatever you say, kid, whatever you say. Are you excited for your trip?” 

Before Peter could answer, Ned chimed in. “Hi, Mr. Stark!” 

“Hey, Ted. I heard you made Peter make a Twitter account.” 

“Yes! I’ve been bugging him about it forever...” 

And with that, the three fell into a comfortable rhythm. 

\--- 

The next day, Peter woke up and ordered some pancakes, while Ned ordered waffles. This prompted an intense debate which ended in a standstill. 

Eventually, the two made up, and headed over to Mr. Harrington’s room. 

“Hello, Ned and Peter, this is Ms. Garcia, she will be our guide. Ms. Garcia, I think everyone is here now.” 

The woman, Ms. Garcia, smiled. “Great! Let me introduce myself. My name is Emily Garcia and I will be leading you around the White House. First of all, you will need security passes.” Emily reached into her bag and pulled out 12 guest passes. “When you wear these passes, security will know that you are allowed to be here. Now, are you all ready?” 

The team cheered. 

“Then let’s go!” 

\--- 

Peter was having a good trip, but he should have known better than to hope that it could last. Stupid Parker Luck. The Oscorp trip, D.C, MoMA... with his luck, he’d have to go on a trip to the Tower! But, of course, Peter hadn’t thought about this, because he was blindsided with excitement over seeing PRESIDENT ELLIS! 

(Unfortunately, he saw President Ellis.) 

As Ms. Garcia led them through the halls, she stopped abruptly, and two figures came into view. The first was President Ellis. The second was Pepper Potts. 

“I know, Matthew,” Pepper laughed, and they immediately stopped short when they saw the tour group. 

“Hello, Ms. Potts, President Ellis,” Ms. Garcia said, smiling. “I’m sorry for any interruption, this is the Academic Decathalon Team from Midtown High? They received a personal invitation to tour here after winning the National tournament.” 

Pepper Potts grinned and President Ellis nodded. 

“Academic Decathalon team from Midtown?” Pepper confirmed. “Peter? Are you there?” 

Peter shrunk behind Ned, who shot him a pitying look. 

“Hi, Peter!” Pepper exclaimed, walking to him and embracing him. “I didn’t know you were coming!” 

“Peter Parker?” President Ellis asked. “I remember you! It’s great to meet you again, Mr. Parker.” 

Peter’s eyes widened. “Oh my god, sir, it’s - it’s an honor, again -” 

“Peter, you don’t need to be so formal, we’ve met eight times. Please, call me Matthew.” 

Pepper laughed. “I don’t think he will, Matthew, it took Tony a year to get him to stop calling him Mr. Stark.” 

“Um,” Betty squeaked. “Peter?” 

Peter flushed. “U-uh, I’ve met President Ellis and Ms. Potts for my internship with Mr. Stark.” 

“Internship?” President Ellis asked, and Pepper gave him a meaningful look. 

“Yes, Peter has to accompany Tony on some very important business calls.” 

“Y-yep!” Peter stuttered. 

Before anyone else could say anything, however, the Avengers strode in. 

“Queens?” Captain America asked, walking closer. “Why are you at the White House? Aren’t you supposed to be in school?” 

“Yeah, Spider-Brat,” Clint said. 

“Guys. His classmates are literally right behind him,” said Nat, giving Clint a death stare. 

“S-Spider-Brat?” asked Charles. 

“Uhhhhhh,” said Clint, as Peter put his head in his hands. 

“MAN OF SPIDERS!” Thor appeared. “MY BROTHER WISHES TO MEET YOU!” Loki appeared alongside Thor. 

“This is Spider-Man? Stark’s son?” 

“Thor!” Peter whisper-shouted. “I have a secret identity!” 

“What the fuck,” Abe whispered. “What the actual fuck.” 

“Language,” said Steve. 

“I hate you all.” 

President Ellis smiled softly at Peter. “I’m sorry, Peter. But your team did sign Nondisclosure Agreements, so they won’t be able to spill your identity, if that helps at all?” 

“Oh my god, Peter is Spider-Man,” Cindy said. 

Suddenly, Iron Man flew through the window. 

“Dad?” Peter asked as Tony flipped his faceplate up. 

“I’m sorry, kiddo, I couldn’t leave you for three days, so I came to D.C, and then I saw a spike in your vitals and FRIDAY told me what happened. Clint, Thor, Loki, we will be having words.” 

The three men shrunk back from Tony’s Dad Mode. 

“Now, to Peter’s lovely Academic Decathalon team.” Tony stepped out of his suit and plastered on his fake paparazzi grin. “Hi, Ted, Michelle. Now, you’ve all seen some things today. I trust no one else will be hearing of what you saw? Or you will be facing the wrath of -” 

“Alright, alright, dad, I think they get it.” 

“How about a picture with the president and the Avengers in exchange for your silence?” President Ellis offered, and the team readily agreed. 

\--- 

Two days later, after returning back to Midtown, a picture of all of the Avengers in civilian clothing, the AcaDec team, and THE PRESIDENT was hanging proudly in the entrance to MSST.


	3. the physics project.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> peter has a presentation, but what happens when he pulls up the wrong file?  
> disclaimer: i do not own the universe or the characters that i use in this fic, all credit to marvel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have absolutely no idea what im talking about for the science part of this fic. i used random physics terms that i found on wikipedia.

Peter had been working his ass off on his physics project. 

It was worth 50% of his grade, after all. 

The assignment was to create some sort of physics-related presentation. At first, Peter was stressed by the lack of guidance for the project, but then he had thought a bit more and came up with a genius idea. 

Mr. Stark had helped him out with the actual project, and Ms. Potts had aided in the visual aids. Peter thought that, in the end, it was pretty great. 

“Alright,” Ms. Warren said, walking into the classroom. “Today Mr. Brown and Mr. Parker will be presenting. Mr. Brown, you may begin.” 

Abe did an interesting presentation on astrophysics, and Peter thought that he made some very notable points about physical cosmology. 

Then, it was Peter’s turn. 

“Mr. Parker,” said Ms. Warren. “You have the floor.” 

“Thanks, Ms. Warren.” Peter rubbed his hands together to get rid of the sweat. He hated public speaking. He hated speaking in front of people in general. Spider-Man was different – he could hide behind the mask. But here he was, as Peter Parker, presenting something that he worked really fucking hard on. “O-Okay, I just need to pull up my visual aids.” 

Peter connected his Stark Laptop to the projector and clicked on the filed called: ‘p h y s i c s.’ 

Unfortunately, the board did not light up with his applied physics project. Instead, it lit up with his Spider-Man physics project. 

“Fuck,” Peter whispered under his breath as the video began to play. He frantically attempted to X out of it, but to no avail. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!” 

Peter, wearing his full spidey-suit, walked into the frame. “Okay, physics web test number one.” 

Peter shot a web and flew with it, propelling himself to the other wall. 

“I am so sorry, Ms. Warren,” Peter said, trying to get out of the video. “This was a different physics project, it’s stuck, I – I – you can just ignore this, can we get tech support?” 

But no one was listening. 

Everyone was watching Spider-Man continuously thwip his webs and fly across the board. After a few minutes, Peter’s heart beat in his throat. He knew what came next. 

“Alright, Karen, you’re recording, right?” The video was from Spider-Man's perspective, and the camera showed everything he saw. 

“I am recording, Peter.” 

“Great.” 

Spider-Man leapt down from a rooftop and began swinging, stopping a mugging or helping an old lady with her groceries every now and again. 

The perspective changed again, and this time the camera was recording Peter and Tony in civilian clothes. 

“Why am I being recorded, kid?” Tony asked as in-person Peter internally cursed his Parker Luck. 

“Oh, don’t worry, Mr. Stark, no one’s going to see this, I’m just putting this together for myself so I can work on the physics part of my web-slinging.” 

“What the fuck,” Flash said, as the rest of the students paled. 

“Whatever, Underoos.” 

“So I was thinking, for the web-shooters, it could be helpful if there were the openings for the web-dispensers on the sides of them? So-” 

“Yeah, I see how that could h-” 

Peter finally managed to exit the video, and he scrolled through his files until he found the one titled: physics project visual aids, and clicked on it. 

“Uh, I’m sorry, Ms. Warren, I didn’t - er – mean to show that.” 

Ms. Warren gaped at him. “U-Um, y-y-yes, of course not, you can present now.” 

“No fucking way,” Flash said. “No fucking way.” 

“This actually explains a lot,” said Betty, tapping her pencil against her chin. “All the absences, bruises, abs...” 

“I - I don’t have abs!” Peter said. 

Cindy gave him a look. “Peter. We’re not blind.” 

“Whatever, that’s - that was just some dumb thing I did with Mr. Stark and Spider-Man for my internship, it’s just dumb, I’m not Spider-Man.” 

“Peter,” Jason said. “No one believes you. What the fuck, man?” 

“Shit. Karen, could you call Mr. Stark? Tell him it’s an emergency. Well, not life-or-death, but-” 

“Calling Boss.” 

After 3 rings, he picked up. 

“Kid?” 

“Heyyyyy, Mr. Stark.” 

“How much damage control do we need?” 

“So... you know that physics project I had?” 

“Yeah, it was great.” 

“And you remember that physics experiment I was working on with the webs?” 

There was a pause. “You didn’t.” 

“Funny story, actually-” 

“Peter, I swear to God.” 

Peter groaned. “Can you just come here with NDAs?” 

“Already on my way, kid.” 

Tony hung up. 

“So...” Peter said, jumping up on the ceiling. “I am Spider-Man. Now, who wants to hear about applied physics in the quantum field?”


	4. spider-baby stark.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mr. stark gives peter one of his mit hoodies.  
> disclaimer: i do not own the mcu or characters that i use in this fic, all credit goes to marvel.  
> enjoy!

“Hey, Mr. Stark!” Peter said as he threw his bag down on the lab table. 

“Hey, kid. I was thinking we could work on your suit today, how does that sound?” 

“Great, Mr. Stark! I had this new web combination idea...” 

The two geniuses fell into a comfortable rhythm, bouncing ideas off each other and then bringing those ideas to life. All of a sudden, Peter freaked out. 

“Kid?” Tony said, glancing at Peter worriedly. Peter was breathing heavily, coughing every now and then, and clutching at his chest. 

“Kid, everything okay?” 

Peter shook his head. “Binder -” he gasped. 

“Shit, kid, do you need help getting it off?” 

Peter nodded and continued to claw at his chest, gasping for air. 

Tony stood behind Peter and lifted up his shirt, then getting his scissors, cutting the binder away, and putting Peter’s shirt back on. 

Peter gasped for air and wrapped his arms around his chest protectively as Tony looked on fearfully. “Better?” 

After some more gasps, Peter finally nodded. “Sorry, Mr. Stark, I fell asleep with my binder on last night.” Peter continued to look uncomfortable. 

“Wait here, kid.” 

Tony left for a few minutes and returned with his oversized MIT hoodie, and Peter’s eyes lit up. 

“For you,” he said, throwing the sweatshirt into Peter’s open arms. 

“For me? But – but -” 

“Nuh-uh, Spiderling, no buts. This one is special for my favorite intern.” 

Peter grinned and pulled the sweater over his head, relishing the way it swamped his upper body. “Thank you,” he said, smiling at the ground. 

“Anything for you, kid." 

\--- 

After the emotional moment in the lab, Peter had dinner with Mr. Stark and Ms. Potts, and then fell asleep on his mentor’s shoulder while they watched a movie. 

Mr. Stark ran his fingers through Peter’s hair and smiled at the sleeping boy. “I should bring you to bed, huh?” Tony whispered softly. He then took the boy in his arms, his back cracking slightly as he scooped him up. 

The next morning, Peter awoke in his bed and groaned after recalling the events that transpired during movie night. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and got dressed, changing into jeans and a new shirt (and putting on a new binder, but Mr. Stark didn’t have to know about that), and keeping the hoodie. 

“Morning, Ms. Potts,” Peter said cheerfully as he entered the kitchen. 

“Hi, Peter. I see Tony gave you one of his sweaters.” 

Peter flushed. “Uh - yeah. I really like it.” 

Pepper smiled. “They are pretty comfortable.” 

Then Tony entered the room. “Hey, Pep, Petey-Pie.” 

“Hi, Mr. Stark!” 

“Don’t think I don’t know that you’re wearing your binder, Pete.” 

Peter frowned. “Please? I’ll take it off as soon as I get back home, I just need to wear it for school.” Peter gave his best puppy-eyes, and Mr. Stark had no chance. 

“Fine. But I will be confirming with May that you follow through on that.” 

“Thanks, Mr. Stark!” 

“Aren’t you a bit late for school, Peter?” Pepper said, checking her watch. Peter peered at the clock on the wall and his eyes widened. 

“Shit!” 

“Alright, kid, let me take you.” 

\--- 

When Peter got to school, his spidey-sense went off, screaming; SOMEONE IS WATCHING, SOMEONE IS WATCHING! But why would anyone be watching him? As he walked through the hallways, his sense only got more intense, and he looked up and saw that everyone was, in fact looking at him. 

“Uh, Ned?” Peter said. “Am I wearing two different shoes or something?” 

“Bro,” Ned said, gaping. “Your sweater.” 

Peter looked down at the sweater. “What? It’s Mr. Stark’s MIT hoodie.” 

“Yeah. First of all, everyone knows what Mr. Stark’s MIT hoodie looks like. Also, did you check the back of it before you wore it to school?” 

Peter furrowed his brow and took of the hoodie, turning it around in his hands. 

“Shit!” He whispered. 

On the back of the sweater, SPIDER-BABY STARK was embroidered. Peter was going to kill Mr. Stark. Growling, Peter dialed his number. 

“Mr. STARK.” Peter moaned. “Why didn’t you tell me about the back of my sweater??” 

“Oh, that little thing?” 

“Yes! That ‘little thing!’ Everyone is staring at me!” 

“Whoopsies.” 

“Mr. Staaaark,” Peter whined. “I’m going to tell Ms. Potts.” 

“Fine, fine, fine, I’m sorry, I’m heading over now to clear this up.” 

\--- 

“Hey, check it out, Peter’s in the news!” Abe exclaimed, frantically pulling up an article on his laptop. There was a video of Mr. Stark playing: 

“Hello, reporters, you know who I am, I am here today to discuss my personal intern, Peter Parker. Normally, SI does not take interns, but Tony Stark does, and Peter’s the best of all of us. Anyway, that’s all. I’ll remind you that photographs of a minor are illegal and I won’t hesitate to destroy you if you take them without his consent. Toodle-oo!” 

“How come your sweater says Spider-Baby Stark, though, Peter?” Asked Betty, while everyone else was too shocked to speak. 

“Uhhhhh,” said Peter. “It... doesn’t?” 

“What the fuck,” said Flash, gaping at Peter. 

“I’m not Spider-Man!” Peter said defensively. “That notion is insane, preposterous, you have absolutely no evidence -” 

“Peter,” Betty said. “Nobody said you were Spider-Man.” 

“Fuck!” Peter squeaked, burying his face in his hands, as MJ rolled her eyes.


	5. baby boy's stab wound.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> peter gets stabbed, so he goes over to wade's to get fixed up. unfortunately for him, abe happens to be wade's neighbor. and wade happens to be the mystery of the apartment complex.  
> tw: mentions of underage prostitution - peters class thinks that he's a male escort. 
> 
> \---
> 
> this chapter is inspired by "The Puzzle of Peter Parker," by captastrophysics.
> 
> \---
> 
> disclaimer: i do not own the universe or the characters that i use in this fic, all credit goes to marvel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. i know next to nothing about deadpool, so its highkey very likely that hes ooc, sorry about that. all that i know, ive learned from reading fics :))  
> 2\. i have a ton of ideas for this collection, like around 50-something right now, and im trying to write about one a day, but i cant guarantee that ill post that often, im kind of a mess.  
> 3\. i turned on comments! i joined ao3 pretty recently, even though ive been reading fics on here for a while, but this is the first fic that im turning comments on for. i probably wont respond to any of them, mainly because i have a lot of social anxiety, but if you have any ideas or requests, or just want to send a little encouragement, ill definitely enjoy reading it. please be nice!! :)))  
> sorry for the long note! enjoy the update!

_[abe’s perspective – pt. 1]_

Abe had just wanted some ice cream. 

It had been a hot spring day, and Abe had gone out for ice cream, like one does on a hot spring day. He was licking his strawberry cone when he saw someone knocking on the door across from his apartment. 

Abe almost dropped his ice cream. 

You see, Abe had lived in his apartment his entire life, and his parents had moved there two years before. In those 18 years, there was one occupant of apartment 4c, and no one had ever seen him. Of course, there were theories. 

A hermit. 

A ghost. 

Someone famous. 

Aliens. 

(Someone always seemed to guess aliens.) 

“Sir?” Abe said, as the man continued to knock. He appeared to be bleeding. “Sir, I don’t think that you’re going to get a reply.” 

But, alas, the man refused to listen to Abe’s sagely wisdom, so Abe turned on his heel, took a lick of his ice cream cone, and slid his key through the lock. 

And then, he heard the door open. 

“Baby boy!” ABE’S NEIGHBOR exclaimed. 

Immediately turning on his heel, Abe gaped. There was no mistaking it. That was Wade Wilson. Wade Wilson, also known as Deadpool. 

“Took you long enough, Wade,” the visitor said, and he was let in. 

Only, that voice was oddly familiar. 

Too familiar. 

That voice was, unmistakably, the voice of Peter Parker. 

Before he could confirm his outrageous theory, however, Deadpool closed the door behind the pair. What. The. Fuck. 

Abe entered his apartment and stared at his ice cream as it melted for a few minutes, wondering what the absolute hell that could have been all about. He decided that this situation called for backup. 

**[mr president created a chat]**

**[mr president added: good morning midtown]**

**[mr president added: moonmoon]**

**[mr president added: seeless]**

**[mr president added: bit my finger]**

**[mr president added: sall-e]**

**[mr president added: michael jackson]**

**good morning midtown:** abe, what is this chat?

 **mr president:** y o u w i l l n o t b e l i e v e m e

 **sall-e:**...

 **mr president:** its about peter

**[michael jackson left the chat]**

**mr president:** ok so mj def knows whats up with him

 **mr president:** yall know about apt 4a?

 **moonmoon:** thats the apartment in ur building that no one lives in right?

 **mr president:** i THOUGHT no one lived in it. no ones been SEEN living in it. u n t i l n o w

 **bit my finger:** what does this have to do with peter? does he live there?

 **mr president:** nope

 **mr president:** someone was knocking on the door, right? so i tell them to leave bc nobody ever answers the door, and i didnt even think anyone lived there. they ignore me and keep knocking, so im like, whatever, and go to my apt. THEN THE DOOR OPENS. AND WADE FUCKING WILSON IS THERE. OPENING. THE. DOOR. and im a solid 80% sure that peter benjamin parker was the one who was knocking

 **good morning midtown:** did you see peter?

 **mr president:** i saw his back and the side of his face, but his voice is p recognizable

 **good morning midtown:** fair

 **good morning midtown:** now

 **good morning midtown:** what the fuck

 **bit my finger:** peter parker knows deadpool??????

 **seeless:** yallll remember that theory when we all thought peter was a male escort? mayb he is and he was "servicing" dp

 **mr president:** holy shitttttt

 **moonmoon:** do yall know peter? he wouldnt do that?

 **sall-e:** i dont know, cindy, we know peter. maybe his aunts having a hard time with the bills. he would do anything to help her out.

**[mr president added: michael jackson]**

**mr president:** how does peter know deadpool

**[michael jackson left the chat]**

**mr president:** fine lets add ned hes shit at secrets

**[mr president added: ned, nedd, & neddy]**

**mr president:** how does peter know deadpool

 **ned, nedd, & neddy: **uhhhhhhhh

 **ned, nedd, & neddy: **he doesnt! thats crazy! why would you think that!

 **mr president:** bc fucking deadpool is my neighbor apparently

 **ned, nedd, & neddy: **ummmmmm

**[ned, nedd, & neddy left the chat]**

**mr president:** all right thats it im adding peter

**[mr president added: beter barker]**

**seeless:** he wont be able to answer right now, if, yk

 **beter barker:** wtf is this chat

 **moonmoon:** peter can u clarify these rumors for once and all

 **sall-e:** i mean obv hell deny it

 **moonmoon:** am i correct in the assumption that u are not a male escort?

 **beter barker:** um yes why would i be?

 **mr president:** then why tf were u in deadpools apartment?????

 **beter barker:** wade is not a pedo ew!! this is about that??? wades my friend :)

 **good morning midtown:** ... hes a mercenary

 **beter barker:** EX-mercenary

 **mr president:** then why did ned get sus when we asked him how u knew him? and why did deadpool call u baby boy

 **beter barker:** idk ask ned. and thats just his nickname for me.

**[beter barker left the chat]**

**moonmoon:**...

 **mr president:** what the fuck is going on w that boy

\---

_[peter's perspective - pt. 2]_

“Aw, fuck. I can’t believe you’ve done this.” Peter groaned as he looked over his wound. It didn’t look too bad. Some annoying knife-wielding mugger had managed to graze him on the side. 

He couldn’t go to Tony about this. Tony freaked out over every little injury, which made Peter freak out. 

Hm... 

After changing out of his suit, Peter walked over to the address that Deadpool had given him a month or two ago. Peter liked Wade, he was a decent guy, trying to be better. 

Peter could respect that. 

Something about the apartment seemed really, REALLY familiar, but Peter ignored the feeling and stepped off the elevator, knocking on apartment 4a. 

“Sir?” A familiar voice said. Peter didn’t dare turn around. “Sir, I don’t think that you’re going to get a reply.” 

Shit. Shit, shit, shit. That was Abe’s voice, from Decathalon. That was why this apartment complex looked so familiar. 

Peter tensed, ignoring Abe, and hoping that the boy would go away. Sure enough, a few seconds later, he heard footsteps, and a key being turned in a lock. As he breathed out a sigh of relief, Wade opened the door. 

“Baby boy!” 

“Yeah, yeah, Wade,” Peter muttered, clutching at his side, and entering the apartment. Wade closed the door behind him. 

“What happened to the Spider-Boy?” 

“Spider-MAN,” Peter said under his breath. “And I got stabbed. I just need to stitch myself up really quickly.” 

After he used Wade’s medical kit to fix up his wounds, he groaned. 

“Wade!” 

“Hm?” 

“You didn’t tell me Abe Brown was your neighbor!” 

“I didn’t know. I never really enter through the door, I’m usually pretty covered in blood and everything. I don’t think that the neighbors know about me, either.” 

“Well I bet they do, now. Abe’s on my AcaDec team, and he definitely just saw us together!” Peter groaned and rubbed his eyes as his phone went off. He picked it up. 

**[mr president added you to a group chat]**

**seeless:** he wont be able to answer right now, if, yk

 **beter barker:** wtf is this chat

 **moonmoon:** peter can u clarify these rumors for once and all

 **sall-e:** i mean obv hell deny it

 **moonmoon:** am i correct in the assumption that u are not a male escort?

 **beter barker:** um yes why would i be?

 **mr president:** then why tf were u in deadpools apartment?????

 **beter barker:** wade is not a pedo ew!! this is about that??? wades my friend :)

 **good morning midtown:** ... hes a mercenary

 **beter barker:** EX-mercenary

 **mr president:** then why did ned get sus when we asked him how u knew him? and why did deadpool call u baby boy

 **beter barker:** idk ask ned. and thats just his nickname for me.

Sighing, Peter left the chat, and gave Wade a death stare. "My AcaDec team thinks I'm a prostitute."

Wade snorted and Peter pouted.

\---

_[the next day - pt.3]_

"Alright, cut the crap," Abe said, crossing his arms. "What's the real reason that you know Deadpool?"

But before Peter could answer, Wade walked into the room, absolutely drenched in blood.

Cindy screamed. Betty gagged. Everyone looked away, except MJ, who looked on curiously.

"What the absolute fuck, Wade?"

"You told me your team thought you were a prostitute, so I came to clear things up!"

"... Wade, are you aware that you are currently covered in blood?"

Wade looked down. "Oh, don't worry, kiddies, this is criminal blood."

"Wade."

Suddenly, Tony fucking Stark walked in.

"Peter goddamn Parker, do you want to tell me why Karen sent me an alert saying you were STABBED last night, and instead of coming to me, you went over to Deadpool's? I thought I told you to stay away from him!"

"Mr. Stark, you too? Can't you two clearly see I'm in AcaDec?"

"What is _he_ doing here," Mr. Stark growled.

"What did I ever do to you, Stark?" Wade pouted.

"Wade, you're a ex-mercenary. You've done a lot."

"Fair point."

"Is anyone going to tell me what the fuck is going on?" Flash asked.

"You were stabbed last night?" Asked Abe incredulously.

Mr. Stark sighed heavily. "Hey, Pete?"

"Yeah, Mr. Stark?"

"Please, for my sake, stop hanging out with Deadpool."

"Aw, come on, Stark, you can't break up Team Red!"

"...Team Red?" Betty asked.

"Wade!" Peter shouted. "That's it, I'm disowning myself from both of you." Peter crossed his arms and turned away from Mr. Stark and Wade.

"Haha, whoopsies," Wade said, scratching his head.

"Holy shit," Abe whispered under his breath. "Peter Parker is Daredevil."

"Daredevil?" Mr. Stark asked incredulously, and Peter slapped him.

"Uh - yep, yep, the secret's out, I'm Daredevil!"

MJ smirked at him. "Sure, Web-Head."

"WEB-HEAD????"


	6. coffee + dodgeball.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> after pulling an all-nighter, peter's exhausted, so he goes out to get a cup of coffee, against ned's extreme disapproval.  
> disclaimer: i do not own the marvel universe or the characters that this fic uses, all credit to marvel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yall,,, i just watched wandavision,,,, ,, its SO GOOD. i have absolutely no idea whats going on, but at the same time i have so many theories. im not going to write any spoilers, but asfhkjasfhjkdsahfk im really excited for the next episode.  
> also, two updates in one day!! i procrastinated way too much today whoops.  
> anyway, enjoy!!

Peter groaned as he pulled himself into the MSST building, his eyes slowly closing every once in a while, and darting them open immediately.

“Woah, dude, are you okay?” Ned asked, immediately heading over to his friend.

“Ugh, Ned,” Peter said, collapsing into Ned.

“Did something happen at the, uh, internship last night?”

“Internship until midnight, then I had to finish the English essay and the chem work, and then I forgot all about the history work from a week ago so I had to finish it, and I didn’t sleep at all last night, Neeeeeeeeeeed.”

Ned let Peter use him as support, and the two made their way into physics.

The classes passed very slowly, and Peter almost fell asleep about seven times, Ned throwing a pencil or a wad of paper at him to wake him up.

At lunch, Peter wanted to take drastic measures.

“Please, Ned.”

“No.”

“But -”

“No.”

“Ned -”

“Absolutely not. Peter, you know what caffeine does to your DNA. No. Way.”

Peter crossed his arms and pouted. “I’m going to go get some anyway.”

Before Ned could stop him, Peter zipped out of the school, past security, and jogged to the nearest chain store.

“Hi, I’d like a coffee?”

The cashier gave him a look. “Care to elaborate? Black? Decaf? Cappuccino?”

“Decaf is the stuff of the devil,” Peter said seriously, quoting his adoptive father. “Can I have something with a lot of caffeine? And sugar, please.”

The cashier shook her head and sighed. “Whatever, kid. $2.99.”

Peter fished a $20 bill out of his pocket and insisted that she should keep the change, which seemed to warm her up to him a bit. Ever since he started living with Tony Stark, he had made sure to give out as much money as he could. MJ supported this wholeheartedly, saying: “Drain the top 1% from the inside.” Peter didn’t fully understand that, but he liked to help out.

“What’s your name?” She asked.

“Um, put it under Ben.” Peter didn’t want to give his name away to strangers. That paranoia would come with being Tony Stark’s secret child and all.

“Order up for Ben,” the barista said a few minutes later, and Peter eagerly took his coffee, downed half of it in one go, and ran off to school.

“Peter!” Ned yelled, eyeing the coffee cup in Peter’s hands, and the way his friend’s hands were shaking.

“HiNedthiscoffeethingisamazingIreallyseewhydadlovesitsomuchIshouldhaveitmoreIfeelsoaliveohmygodNedIalmostforgottotellyouIsawthecutestkittyonmywayoverhere-”

“Peter!” Ned screamed, his eyes bugging. “Dude. Take a breath.”

Peter took an exaggerated breath in, an exaggerated breath out, and then he downed the rest of the coffee, throwing the disposable cup in the garbage.

“NedNedNedNedNedNedNed-”

“Yeah?”

“Doyoulikecoffee?BecauseohmyfuckinggodIdontthinkIcanevengowithoutitanymoreiscoffeeadrug?OhmygodNedImaddicteddadisgoingtokillme-”

“Peter, how about you, uh, just – try to contain your energy? We have gym now, you can go get some of it out, I guess. But remember your whole secret identity, okay?”

Peter bobbed his head up in down while he jumped from foot-to-foot in place, his hands shaking violently with pent-up energy.

As Ned began walking to the gym, Peter sped away ahead of him, and Ned jogged to keep his friend in view. He knew that he should probably call Mr. Stark, but the guy was scary! Besides, Peter would kill him if he did.

Sighing, Ned kept a cautious hand on his vibrating friend’s arm as he led him into the gym.

“Alright, class,” Coach Wilson said, his feet kicked up on a folding chair. “We'll be doing dodgeball today. Split up into teams.” Coach Wilson took a sip from his mug and unfolded his newspaper as the kids went on either side of the gym.

Peter wouldn’t stop moving, and Ned was worried about what was going to happen. In the end, MJ elected to sit out, Ned and Peter were on the same team, and Flash was on the opposing side.

“3, 2, 1 -” Coach Wilson blew his whistle and Peter lunged for a ball, throwing it with a lot of force and knocking four members on the other team out. Everyone gaped at him.

Peter continued to kick names and take ass, until only he and Flash were left standing. Flash looked a bit afraid of the boy, who was jumping and shaking his hands out, but Flash wielded all five dodgeballs.

Peter dodged the first easily, and the second was a bit impressive. The third, he simply ducked under, and the fourth, he did a triple backflip over.

And then, the fifth. The fifth dodgeball was headed straight towards his skull, so Peter did what anyone would do – he jumped five feet in the air and stuck to the ceiling.

“What the fuck,” Flash said, as Peter jumped down and threw a ball that Flash didn’t even bother to dodge. “What the absolute fuck.”

“NedNedNedIwonIwonohmygodNedareyouproudofmeIbeatFlash-”

“Peter!” Ned yelled, throwing his head in his hands. “Your dad is going to kill you.”

Peter’s eyes comically widened and his mouth fell open. “ShitshitshitshititsnotwhatitlookslikeIswearImnotSpidermanoranythingthatwouldbeinsaneyouknowImjustPenisParkerand-”

Ned shook his head as MJ rolled her eyes. “This is why you don’t get coffee, Spider-Boy.”

Peter pouted. “Spider-Man.”

“Peter, I have to call him.”

“Nononononon-”

Ned picked up his phone and selected the contact that read: mr stark iron man sir, and pressed the call button as his gym classmates watched in utter awe, confusion, bewilderment, and surprise.

“Ted?” Came the voice. “Is Peter okay?”

“Ididntdoitdad!” Came Peter’s reply.

“... Pete, did you have coffee?”

“WellnobutalsomaybeyoudidnttellmeitwassogoodImeanyoudidbutitslikethebestthingIveevereatenand-”

“He jumped on the ceiling during gym,” Ned finished, sighing heavily.

“Kid, this is why you aren’t supposed to have coffee. I’m on my way.”

Suddenly, Peter fell over. “Ugh, Ned,” he said. “’gonna sleep.” And he did, promptly, fall asleep.

“Ned?” Cindy asked cautiously. “Peter’s Spider-Man?”

Ned’s eyes darted from one classmate to the next, and eventually he took a deep breath, resigned. “Yeah.”

“But - but – but why?” Flash asked. “He could have -”

“Because he thought that if you didn’t hurt him, you would have hurt someone else.”

There was a silence in the gym, and then Iron Man crashed through the window.

“Hi, Mr. Stark, he just crashed.”

Mr. Stark crouched down to the creaky gym floors, and brushed some of Peter’s bangs out of his face.

“I tried to stop him, but...”

“Well then!” Mr. Stark said, stepping out of his suit and clasping his hands together. “How would you all like a college scholarship and recommendation letter from Tony Stark?”

Everyone, including Flash, raised their hands. Coach Wilson had fallen asleep.

“Alright, and you’ll get it. If you just sign a few NDAs concerning what you’ve seen.”

“Of course, sir!” Betty said, while everyone else was too stunned to speak. “Could I ask a question?”

“I guess.”

“Um, well, I guess I was just wondering – he called you ‘dad?’”

“Ah. Yes, after his aunt passed, I adopted him.”

Mr. Stark turned his attention away from the students as Peter groaned softly and began stirring. “Dad?” He asked.

“Hey, Roo,” Mr. Stark said, propping Peter up. “You’re never going to have coffee again, huh?”

Peter flushed bright red. “I’m so sorry, Dad, I was just really tired, I wasn’t thinking.”

“Holy shit,” Flash said, sitting down. “Parker is Spider-Man.”

“Aw, man,” said Peter. “I wanted to do the whole 'I am Spider-Man' thing, like you did, Dad.”

“It’s alright, bambino, they’re signing NDAs. They won’t be able to tell anyone.”

“Oh cool. I’m going to head back to sleep. Night, guys.” And he did, promptly, fall back asleep.

“Now, just to hash out the details of these scholarships – if one of you spills the beans, then no one receives a scholarship.”

“You better not ruin this for me,” Cindy said, staring daggers at Flash.

“Ah, are you the infamous Eugene Thompson?” Mr. Stark asked, leveling his gaze at Flash.

“It’s Flash, actually,” Flash muttered.

“Sure it is, buddy. Look, Peter’s told me enough about you for you to land in my bad books. You’re never getting a recommendation. But, if you work on yourself, if you keep Pete’s identity a secret, I’ll consider letting you have a decent life. Understood?”

Flash nodded, petrified. “Great. Peter will bring you all the NDAs tomorrow.”

And with that, Tony Stark receded into his suit, picking the sleeping Spider-Child up with him, and flying out through the hole made in the window.

“So,” said Jason. “That just happened.”


	7. what is family?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's family day at midtown, and peter doesn't think he has anyone to go with him.  
> he's wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhhh im having so much fun with this fic! i have an entire doc of ideas, but ill take requests too, if you put it in the comments. updates will probably be irregular, but im trying to get one out every day.  
> also, just to clear this up, some chapters may not be spider-man reveals, but more of a "peter knows the avengers" type of thing.  
> anyway, happy reading!!

Every year, Midtown High School of Science and Technology hosted a Family Day on January 2nd. It was a tradition of sorts, a kind of way to connect with your family during the new year.

Every year, Peter dreaded January 2nd.

It wasn’t as though he had no family. He had May. But May was busy working her ass off so that Peter could have the best life possible, and Peter was eternally grateful for that fact, but that didn’t mean that it wasn’t tough being all alone on Family Day.

Ned would always invite Peter over to be with his moms and little sister, but he always felt that he was intruding on the Leeds’s special moment. They insisted that he was a part of the family, but the fact was that he  _ wasn’t _ . 

So, on New Year’s, Peter groaned as he pulled himself into the lab. Mr. Stark looked at him worriedly. A few months ago, Peter and Mr. Stark had found out that Peter was his biological son. That had been a trip. But, eventually, they settled into some sort of a routine, May and Peter moving into the Tower so Peter could spend time with all of his parental figures.

“What’s up, bambino?” Mr. Stark asked as he stepped away from his iron suit.

“It’s dumb, Mr. Stark,” Peter said, throwing himself onto a chair. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Okay. How about we tinker with SPY-D?”

“Yes!” said Peter, racing to collect the drone.

\---

“Hey, Tony,” May said as she entered the Tower after her shift, a little after 2:00 AM. “Peter’s asleep?” 

Tony was gnawing on his lip when he looked up and noticed May. ”Oh, yeah, Spider-Kid's asleep. Do you know if anything’s bothering him?”

May set her bag down on the chair and sat down on the sofa. “Well, it could be Family Day tomorrow. Every year, the day after New Year’s. And most of the time, I can’t make it, including this year.”

“Poor kid,” Tony said, staring at his shoes. “Why didn’t he ask me?”

“Maybe because he didn't think you would come? You know how worried Peter already is about being a burden.”

“Huh. Would he hate me if I came?”

May thought for a second. “I think he’d like it. Family Day’s always been a slap in the face for Peter, seeing everyone come in with their family, and him sitting alone, having no one.”

“I guess we’ll have to  rectify that, huh?”

May smiled. “I’m glad he has you in his life, Tony.”

“I’m glad I get to be in his.”

\---

Peter groaned as he saw the brightly colored posters advertising the day’s event: 

_MIDTOWN ANNUAL FAMILY DAY!_

_FRESHMEN – LUNCHROOM_

_SOPHMORES – AUDITORIUM A._

_JUNIORS – AUDITORIUM B._

_SENIORS – THEATER_

“Hi, Peter!” Ned exclaimed, bounding up to the boy, a young girl on his hip and two women trailing behind him.

“Hey, Ned,” Peter said morosely. “Hi, there, Lila. And Mrs. and Mrs. Leeds.”

“Peter!” Mrs. Leeds said fondly. “For the last time, it’s Ava and Caty! May can’t make it this year?” 

Peter shook his head sadly. “It’s okay, though, I’m fine by myself.”

“Hey, nerds,” MJ said, entering the scene along with her mother. “This is my mom. She’s a defense lawyer. She’s cool.”

“Hi, Mrs. Jones, it’s great to finally meet you,” Peter said genuinely, smiling softly at the woman.

“You must be Peter and Ned. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“Really?” Ned asked, his eyes widening. “MJ actually talks about us?”

“Shut up, Leeds, you’re my friends.”

“We are?”

MJ rolled her eyes and punched Ned affectionately, and he smiled. As the group was about to make their way to the auditorium, the door to the school opened.

And Tony Stark, Pepper Potts, Morgan Stark, Natasha Romanov, Wanda Maximoff, and Bucky Barnes walked in.

“Dad?” Peter asked, walking towards the group cautiously.

“Petey!” Morgan exclaimed, jumping into his arms. “Family Day!”

“Uh - yeah. How did you guys know?”

“May told me,” Tony said, looking nervous. “I - I hope you’re not mad that we came?”

“N-No, of course not! I didn’t think you would want to come,” Peter muttered.

“Silly Petey, of course we want to come, we’re your family!” Morgan rolled her eyes playfully.

“Exactly, Peter,” Pepper said softly. “Now, can we meet your friends?”

“You’re Pepper Potts,” MJ said dumbly.

“Oh my god, MJ’s secretly a fangirl,” Ned said, which earned him a punch to the shoulder.

“And you’re MJ. Peter simply raves about you. He says he’s learned a lot about social issues from you.”

“Good,” MJ said, smiling at Peter.

“I’m Mrs. Jones,” MJ’s mother said, outstretching her hand to Tony. “It’s great to meet you and your son.”

“Likewise,” said Tony.

Bucky, Wanda, and Natasha stood behind the Starks, not wanting to intrude. Peter was close with all of the Avengers, but Bucky and Wanda were his  Assassin Aunts/Uncles, and Wanda was like a sister to him, so he pulled them closer.

“This is Bucky, Wanda, and Nat,” Peter said.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” said Ava Leeds. “I’m Ava, Ned’s mom.”

“A pleasure,” said Wanda.

Before they could get through any more introductions, the PA system crackled to life. “Welcome all MSST family! Please make your way to the respective rooms, our Family Day programs will be beginning shortly.”

Tony shuddered. “I miss FRIDAY already.”

Shaking his head fondly, Peter led his family to the auditorium, a giant grin on his face.

“Hello and welcome to Midtown High School of Science and Technology’s annual Family Day!” Principal Morita cheered from his position at the front of the auditorium. He paused for cheers, and he  received it; the sheer volume sent Peter cringing into his father’s arms.

“Now, I do have to get on to welcome the other grades as well, but I’d first like to leave you all with a message. We’ve been through a lot this year. There was the Academic Decathalon’s trip to D.C, the month of the snap...” Principal Morita looked up sadly, and then his eyes widened as his eyes landed on Peter’s company. “U-Um, yes, the, er, never mind...? Er, I hope this Family Day can be a beacon of hope to us all. We will have be having several family members speak, and then there will be a showcase of speeches, writings, poetry, art, and science creations by students.”

Principal Morita slowly stepped off the stage, his eyes not leaving Mr. Stark’s face, and Abe’s father stepped up to discuss his job.

Family Day itself was boring, like always, and Peter was dozing off when Mr. Stark shook him awake. “I’ve got to get up there, Underoos.”

“You’ve got to – what?”

Not answering Peter, Mr. Stark stepped out from his seat and headed up to face the crowd. “Hello, there,” he said. “You know who I am. I’d like to share some insight on family. What is family? Family is more than blood, I think everyone agrees on that. Family is the group of people you surround yourself with when you have a bad day, the people you come to when you’re hurt. Family was the first few people you called when you returned from the snap, or when you saw others return.” The room was silent, awestruck and contemplative. Mr. Stark cleared his throat. “You may be wondering why I’m here, standing in front of you today. I came here for my family. Pete, come on up.”

All eyes turned to Peter and he nervously made his way to the front of the auditorium.

“When the Avengers came to me with a half-baked idea on how to save the universe and whatnot, I almost declined. After all, I thought I had everything. A beautiful, genius wife, and talented and smart daughter... but I was missing my son.”

Tears pricked at Peter’s eyes.

“When... when Peter came back, we were in the middle of the final fight. I knew I had to take on Thanos, but when I saw him come back with Strange... it was like nothing was going on around me except us, because I had my son back.” Mr. Stark sniffed, and Peter threw himself at his father. “When I saw Thanos had the stones, I took them. I took them because I’m a ‘self-sacrificial idiot, that wants to save everyone’s life except my own,’ - Pete’s words, not mine. I took the stones, and I almost snapped. But then the entire team came up to me, and put their hands around me, splitting the power between us. At that moment, all of the power coursing through our veins, I knew I was with my family.”

Mr. Stark nodded, stepped away from the microphone, and embraced a now-sobbing Peter, as the crowd went wild. Even Flash’s family was on their feet, applauding.

“Uh, Mr. Stark, sir?” Betty asked from the crowd once the applause had gone down and Peter was drying her tears.

“Yep, Betty, right? You’re on Pete’s nerd team?”

“Um, yes, well, what did you mean that Peter was on the battlefield with you?”

Both Peter and Mr. Stark’s faces blanched.

“ Ummmmmm ,” Peter said. “Did - did he say that? I don’t remember him saying that.”

“I did imply that,” Mr. Stark muttered, recalling the brief mention. Pepper walked up to her boys, Morgan on her hip, a slight expression of anger on her face, but a soft, loving look was more prevalent.

“Are you ready, Peter?” She asked, covering the microphone.

Peter nodded curtly, and Pepper took her hand away.

“Heyyyyy,” Peter said awkwardly, staring at the crowd. “So.” Peter pretended to pull up notes on his computer and Mr. Stark smiled proudly, knowing what his kid was about to do.

“The truth is..” Peter paused, looked at Mr. Stark, grinned, and closed his laptop. “I am Spider-Man.”

The crowd went  berserk as Peter did a flip and jumped onto the ceiling.

“Family Day at Midtown was not exactly the way I saw this coming out,” Peter muttered to himself, scratching his head. “Your speech was definitely worth it, though, Dad.”

The father and son grinned at each other. From an Iron Man to a Spider-Man, two self-sacrificial vigilantes, two generations, one family.

(Needless to say, no students ended up presenting their work that day.)


	8. the iron suit.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> after peter gets injured on patrol, tony sends an iron suit to accompany him to school.  
> disclaimer: i do not own the mcu or the characters that i use in this fic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i watched the next episode of wandavision,,,, aghhhh!!! no spoilers, but i,,,, i need the next episode,,,,  
> also, sorry if the formatting is a bit messed up??? theres a bit of twitter/texting in this one.

“When will you learn? When will you learn? That your actions have consequences!” Peter said as he webbed up a criminal who had just shot him three times. 

On a completely unrelated note, being shot fucking _hurt_. 

“Peter, you have sustained a serious injury. Alerting Boss.” 

“No - no, Karen you do not have to – heyyyyy, Mr. Stark,” Peter said as she connected the call, against Peter’s wishes. 

“Cut the shit, kid, you were _shot_?” 

“It was only three times,” Peter muttered. “And the bullets left my body and everything!” 

“Jesus fu – I'm heading over there now, Pete. Do NOT do anything stupid in the meantime.” 

Peter clasped his hands over the deepest bullet wound and staggered on his feet. “M-Mr. St’rk?” Peter slurred, falling against the wall. “Th’nk ‘m g’nna sl’p.” 

“No, no, NO, kid, do NOT fall asleep on me. If you stay awake, you can get a cookie.” 

Peter perked awake and forced his eyes open. “Wan’ a cookie.” 

“Just stay awake a few more minutes, I’m almost there, kiddo.” 

“Cookie, cookie, cookie, cookie, cookie,” Peter kept repeating in order to stay awake, and, sure enough, Peter soon heard the familiar whirring of Iron Man’s repulsors, and he was taken in his adoptive father’s arms. 

\--- 

_Beep...Beep...Beep...Beep..._

_\---_

_Beep...Beep...Beep...Beep..._

_\---_

_Beep...Beep...Beep...Beep..._

_\---_

Peter groaned as he forced his eyes open, and cringed at the bright input. 

“FRI, lights,” he croaked out, shutting his eyelids tightly until a soothing darkness cloaked the room. 

“Kid!” Mr. Stark groaned. “Who the fuck -” 

“ - I the fuck -” 

“Takes three separate bullets for someone, when they could have just pushed said someone _out of the way_?” 

Peter thought for a second. “I suppose that would have been the more strategic course of action.” 

“God, Pete, you’re going to be the death of me.” 

“I dunno, Mr. Stark, you’ve got quite a few gray hairs already, I think that old age might end up being the death of you.” 

Mr. Stark rolled his eyes. 

“Shit!” Peter suddenly exclaimed, eyes darting wide open. “I have a physics midterm today. I CANNOT miss it, Mr. Stark, seriously -” 

“ -Peter-” 

“No, you don’t understand, it’s 55% of our grade, I’ve been studying my ass off for it, and there’s no alternate test dates.” 

“I’m sure we can figure something out, considering you’ve been shot and all.” 

“PLEASE, Mr. Stark. Please, Tony.” 

Mr. Stark exhaled sharply through his nose. “Fine. On the condition that an Iron Suit accompanies you throughout the day and you use a wheelchair. That’s my final offer.” 

Peter raised an eyebrow. “Fine to the wheelchair, I don’t think I can walk right now anyway. But won’t people get suspicious? About the suit?” 

“My final offer,” Mr. Stark repeated. 

“Agh! Fine.” Peter sighed heavily. “But if my identity comes out, I blame you.” 

\--- 

It turned out that Peter had awoken only an hour before the bell, so he quickly dressed, ate breakfast, and headed to school. 

And an empty Iron Suit followed him. 

“Hey, Peter!” Ned exclaimed, high-fiving his best friend, his eyes widening when he saw Peter’s entourage. “I’m guessing the suit has to do with the wheelchair?” 

“Yeah. I got shot and IronDad is being overprotective.” 

“Peter... you got shot... I think he’s allowed to be protective. Also, what the fuck!! That’s an Iron Suit!” 

“Yeah, I guess it is.” 

“Hey, nerds,” MJ said, entering their group. “What did you do, Peter?” She said after staring at the suit for a second. 

“Got shot,” Peter mumbled. 

“Hey, Penis!” Flash exclaimed, and then stopped dead when he saw the suit. “What the fuck?” Flash stepped closer to Peter and put his hand on the suit. 

“Step away,” the suit said. “Non-authorized personnel.” The suit aimed its repulsors, and a look of horror was mirrored on both Flash and Peter’s face. 

Peter angrily pulled out his phone and texted his father: 

**spider-son:**

mr stank!! why is the suit threatening flash????   


**iron-dad:**

the suit will threaten any determined “unfriendly” persons 

**spider-son:**

>:( 

**iron-dad:**

:) 

“Sorry, Flash,” Peter ended up muttering, wheeling off to English, the suit following him. 

\--- 

After a long day, Peter finally reached Physics. He took the test anxiously, nibbling on his pencil eraser, but the presence of the Iron Suit calmed him. It was as if his father was there with him. 

(And he was, in a way. Of course Tony had been looking over his son’s shoulder via Iron Suit camera feed, checking his answers.) 

(They were all right.) 

Physics had been the last class of the day, so Peter stretched his arms, handed in his test, and wheeled out of the room. 

He decided to pull out his phone before leaving school. This was a bad idea, considering he was immediately met with news about himself. 

**CNN -** **_@CNN_ **

Iron Suit seen following Queens teenager identified as Peter Parker. Sources say that Mr. Parker has a Stark internship. READ MORE HERE. 

**The New York Times -** **_@NYT_ **

Iron Suit following Stark intern around school. 

**Buzzfeed -** **_@Buzzfeed_ **

Everything we know about Peter Parker, and why an Iron Suit might be following him around. 

Peter groaned and put his head in his hands. This was EXACTLY why he hadn’t wanted to accept Mr. Stark’s idea. 

**spider-son:**

mr staaaaaaaaaaaark the news noticed ur very not inconspicuous iron suit >:( 

**iron-dad:**

i got this kiddo. stay inside until the press release in 5 min, there’s reporters swarming your school. 

**spider-son:**

uhgghghh 

Sure enough, after 5 minutes, Peter’s phone dinged with a Stark Industries notification, sending a link to Mr. Stark’s official statement. Peter clicked on it. 

_Peter Parker is my adoptive son. We will not be taking questions. Anyone who is trying to stalk my son in any way will be facing the full wrath of my legal team. I advise any reporters waiting outside of Midtown High School of Science and Technology to leave._

Well, that was blunt. 

Peeking out the door, Peter found that the threat had, in fact, worked, and Peter wheeled home to the tower, the Iron Suit following him home the whole time. 

And maybe, JUST maybe, could he admit that the whole thing was worth it. 

(Because exposing Tony Stark as a dumbass was a lot easier now that people knew that Peter knew him.) 

(And definitely not because hearing people describe him as Tony Stark's son made something warm bloom in his gut.)

(Definitely not.)


	9. the citation problem.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> steve and bucky help peter with his history paper, but peter's teacher doesn't approve.  
> disclaimer: i do not own the mcu or the characters that i use in this fic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ive seen this idea in a bunch of places before, but i dont think ive ever seen this written before. i wanted it, so i wrote it.  
> also, two updates in one night! :))

“Ughhhhhh,” Peter groaned as he threw himself down on the couch. “History essays can go fuck themselves.” 

“Language,” Steve muttered as he greeted the unhappy teenager. “What’s wrong with history essays?” 

Peter pulled himself into an upright position and pouted. “What’s wrong with history essays? _What’s wrong with history essays?!_ I have to write a three-page essay on morale during World War 2. How will this have any effect on my life? There’s a _reason_ I go to a science school, you know.” 

“I’m sorry, son,” Steve said. “But I think I could help with your essay.” 

Peter’s eyes widened. “Do you mean -” 

“How would you like a first-person account of the morale-booster Captain America’s experience?” 

“Yes! Thank you, Captain Rogers!” 

\--- 

“...But I wanted more. I didn’t just want to be a symbol of patriotism, I wanted to go out and fight, like a true patriot.” 

“That’s a perfect quote,” Peter said, typing furiously. 

“Hey, kiddo,” Tony said as he entered the room with Bucky. “What are you two doing?” 

“Captain Rogers -” 

“- Steve -” 

“Is helping me with my history essay! I’m writing about morale during World War 2!” 

Tony smiled. “That’s great, Pete, I’m glad to see you excited about history for once.” 

“Eh. Excited is pushing it.” 

Bucky watched the scene calmly before speaking. “If you want, I can talk about it was like being a normal, non-enhanced soldier.” 

Peter’s eyes widened. “That’d be great, Sergeant Barnes!” 

“God, kid, it’s Bucky.” 

\--- 

Two weeks later, Peter’s essay was written (and edited by Natasha). Eagerly, he submitted it via Google Classroom, and bounced into history to talk to Ned about the paper. 

“Ned! You won’t believe what I wrote my paper on.” 

“What?” 

“Captain Rogers and Mr. Barnes’s experiences! They gave me first-person accounts and helped me draft it up! It was AWESOME, Ned.” 

“Holy shit, Peter! You have the coolest life, bro.” 

MJ walked into class. “What’s up, dorks?” 

“Uh, nothing, MJ, we’re just talking, about...stuff.” Ned said. 

Peter rolled his eyes. “We were talking about how I wrote my essay with Captain America and the Winter Solider! I, uh, know them from my internship.” 

MJ nodded. “The web-slinging one, yes?” 

She smirked as Peter’s jaw dropped open and Ned glanced at him worriedly, but they didn’t have time to question her, because the bell rang and Ms. Warren entered the room. 

\--- 

A few days later, Peter went to his history class, bouncing his leg to get out his excess energy, as he had just snuck in a quick Spider-Man adventure in between chemistry and history. 

“I have been checking over your essays,” Mr. Cobwell said. “Some of them are satisfactory -” a glance at MJ, “some of you need to learn how to use commas -” a glance at Flash, “- and some of you need to learn how to stop lying.” A hard stare at Peter. 

“E-excuse me, sir?” Peter asked timidly, confused at being called out. 

“I am aware of your Stark Internship rumor, Mr. Parker, but I did not expect you to go so low as to cite, and I quote: ‘Steve Rogers,’ and ‘James Barnes.’ You did not have a personal conversation with those two war heroes, Mr. Parker. Your citations are incredibly unsatisfactory, and I am extremely unhappy with the fact that you faked these quotes. I could not find any time in which Captain Rogers said, ‘I didn’t just want to be a symbol of patriotism, I wanted to go out and fight, like a true patriot.’ Because of these gross errors in judgement, I have no choice but to give you a zero on your essay, and a week of detentions.” 

“Sir!” Peter exclaimed, but it was no use. Mr. Cobwell didn’t want to believe him. 

\--- 

That afternoon, as Peter came home from school, he sulked in his room and refused to leave. 

“Boss is requesting your presence at dinner, Peter,” FRIDAY said at around 6:00 PM. 

“Tell him I’m not going,” Peter said, putting his head in his hands. 

“Boss is awaiting your presence at dinner.” 

“Still not going.” 

After a few minutes, Tony showed up at his door. “Hey, kiddo. What’s wrong?” 

Peter groaned and stuffed his head in his pillow. “Everything! My history teacher doesn’t believe me about my ‘internship,’ so I got a 0 on my paper and he called me out in front of everyone, and I have a really fucking bad headache, and I’m just... ugh.” 

“We all have ‘ugh’ days, Pete. Now, backtracking to the whole teacher doesn’t believe your internship thing – why did he give you a 0 on your essay for that?” 

Peter turned to look at Tony and sighed heavily. “Because my citations deadass said ‘Steve Rogers’ and ‘Bucky Barnes.’” 

“I’ll fix it, bambino, don’t worry. Now, dinner?” 

Peter raised an eyebrow but nodded slowly. 

\--- 

The next day, Peter was practically falling asleep in history class and Mr. Cobwell was glaring at him. Glaring so hard, in fact, that Peter’s spidey-sense was going off dully. 

At least, he thought that was why his spidey-sense was going off, until the door to the classroom creaked open shyly. Peter tensed and his eyes immediately landed on Captain fucking America and the Winter Soldier. 

Mr. Cobwell looked like he was at a loss for words. 

“W-Wow, Captain Rogers, Seargent Barnes, t-t-to what do we owe the honor?” 

Bucky semi-growled, but Steve smiled slightly. “We wanted to clear up a misunderstanding?” 

“Is this about Mr. Parker? I’m so sorry, sirs, it’s just a silly high school essay, he received a 0 on it, don’t worry, we can push for suspension if you’d like?” 

“What?” Steve asked. “No, Peter told us that he got a 0. We helped him with his essay.” 

Mr. Cobwell’s jaw dropped open. “O-Oh.” 

“Yes, well, we’d appreciate it if you could regrade the assignment now that this information has come to light?” 

“Y-Yes, right away, sirs, I apologize.” 

“It was a damn good essay,” Bucky said, before leaving the room. Steve nodded his head at the class and followed Bucky out the door. 

“I apologize, Mr. Parker,” Mr. Cobwell said shakily. “You didn’t have to have them come all this way.” 

“Sorry, Mr. Cobwell, I didn’t really know they were doing that.” And that was the truth, because if Peter _had_ known, he would have stopped it. 

\--- 

“100%!” Peter exclaimed, bounding into the common room, his laptop perched in his arms. “I got an 100 on the history essay!” 

Tony grinned and patted Peter on the back, while Bucky smiled slightly and sipped his tea, and Steve grinned and said, “Great job, son.” 


	10. spider-man and the geography test.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> peter has a geography test to study for while on patrol. cindy notices some things.  
> disclaimer: i do not own the mcu, nor the characters that i use in this fic.

Cindy had just wanted to study for the geography test. 

That had seemed like a simple enough request.

But, no, some crazy supervillain, hell-bent on destroying Queens, had to ruin her evening. Sighing, Cindy took out her notebook and turned on the news, waiting to see if she would have to evacuate her apartment.

_ “And now, here’s John with an update on the situation in Queens.” _

_ “Yes, thank you, Cathy. There appears to be an enhanced villain destroying everything in his path, and that path happens to be Queens. Spider-Man is on the scene right now, but everyone’s noticed something interesting about the masked vigilante’s appearance tonight. Take a look at this.” _

Cindy yawned slightly and turned away from her notes for a moment to watch the footage. 

The news cut to a shaky video, probably filmed on a smartphone, showing a blurry Spider-Man swinging and attempting to stop the  villain . 

“Copenhagen!” Spider-Man called out as he threw out a web. “The Tigris river!” Spider-Man took a hit, but immediately shot back up again, shouting, “Sudan!” and webbing the villain’s eyes.

Hm. Odd. Cindy ran through several possible scenarios as to why Spider-Man may be shouting such random phrases, but came up empty.

Groaning, Cindy muted the TV and headed to Quizlet. The geography class had created a Quizlet class, and, thankfully, Betty had already created a set for the test. Before studying it, she flipped through the terms. That was... strange.

** TERM: What river runs through Baghdad?  **

** DEFINITION: The Tigris river **

** - **

** TERM: What is Denmark’s capital? **

** DEFINTION: Copenhagen **

** - **

** TERM: Which African nation has the most pyramids? **

** DEFINITION: Sudan **

Was... was Spider-Man studying Betty’s Quizlet?

No. It couldn’t be! This was a high school geography course, and Spider-Man wasn’t in high school... right? No, Cindy couldn’t jump to conclusions so quickly. She had to gather more proof.

Scrolling through YouTube, she found a video live-broadcasting the fight, and clicked on it.

“Mariana Trench!”

** TERM: What is the deepest point in Earth’s oceans? **

** DEFINITION: Mariana Trench **

"The Pacific!”

** TERM: What ocean is home to 75% of the Earth’s volcanoes? **

** DEFINTION: The Pacific Ocean **

"Hulunbuir!”

** TERM: What is the largest city in the world based on surface area? **

** DEFINITION: Hulunbuir, Inner Mongolia **

"Alaska and Alaska!”

** TERM: What are the westernmost and easternmost states in the U.S? **

** DEFINITION: Alaska & Alaska **

Cindy gasped as she heard each of Spider-Man's yells, and turned off the feed after a little while. Some of the things he had yelled had been fairly common phrases, like ‘the Pacific,’ and ‘Copenhagen.’ But some definitely weren’t. ‘Alaska and Alaska?’ And what about ‘Hulunbuir?’

There was no mistaking it. Spider-Man was studying Betty’s Quizlet while stopping an evil supervillain. If they were studying Betty’s Quizlet, chances were that they were in the Geography Quizlet class. Almost frantically, Cindy pulled up a list of the participants:

\- Betty Brant

\- Cindy Moon

\- Ned Leeds

\- Flash Thompson

\- Jason Ionello

\- Suzan Yang

\- Brad Davis

\- Michelle Jones

\- Peter Parker

Of course, there were more students in Geography, but they hadn’t elected to join the Quizlet class. Cindy decided to go through each candidate. 

** BETTY BRANT ** : Betty was always searching for Spider-Man's identity for her news segment. If she was Spider-Man, she would definitely plant clues for herself to point out. Was at the monument when Spider-Man saved the day.

** CINDY MOON ** : Cindy was pretty sure that she would know if she was Spider-Man. Was at the monument when Spider-Man saved the day.

** NED LEEDS ** : Ned was absolute shit at secrets. Besides, he wasn’t very athletic. Was at the monument when Spider-Man saved the day.

** FLASH THOMPSON ** : Would definitely brag about being a superhero if he was one. Wouldn’t be one. Was at the monument when Spider-Man saved the day.

** JASON IONELLO ** : Plausible, but unlikely. Doesn’t seem like the type.

** SUZAN YANG ** : Plausible, but unlikely. Doesn’t seem like the type.

** MICHELLE JONES ** : Has many secrets. Could definitely be a secret vigilante. Was supposed to be at the monument when Spider-Man saved the day. Hates Tony Stark, Spider-Man seems to like him??

** PETER PARKER ** : Very secretive. Definitely has abs. Saw him jump the fence that one time. Really good reflexes. Doesn’t wear glasses anymore. Has sensory overloads. Saw him making some weird white goop in chem a while ago – web fluid?? Stark internship. Was supposed to be at the monument when Spider-Man saved the day.

Cindy gasped and left her document, hands shaking. The evidence added up. Peter Parker was Spider-Man. Now what was she supposed to do? Nervously, Cindy pulled the live Spider-Man  feed back up. Now that she knew he was a high schooler – he was PETER PARKER – everything was a lot more real. After he took a few hits, he finally webbed the  villain up for good, and continued on his patrol.

Abandoning her efforts to study for the test, Cindy raced out of her apartment and went to go corner the vigilante.

How to get his attention, though?

“Help! Help, someone help me!” Cindy screamed dramatically. Sure enough, a blur of red and blue swung into her line of sight.

“Cin - ma’am? Is everything alright?”

Cindy definitely didn’t miss the slip-up. “Cut the act, Peter.” She whisper-shouted as menacingly as she could manage. “What the absolute fuck?”

Cindy saw the eyes of Spider-Man's mask comically widen. 

“Uh, who’s - who’s Peter? I mean, I know a few Peters, but -”

“I heard you studying for the geography test while I watched the news.”

Spider-Man cocked his head to the side for a moment, and then his eyes widened once more. “Can you come with me for a second?”

“Where?” Cindy asked skeptically.

“I need to take you to Mr. Stark.”

Cindy bit her lip. “Fine. But I need answers.”

Spider-Man –  _ Peter –  _ nodded, and he let her hold onto his back as he swung from building to building and made his way to Avengers Tower. Cindy could see how he could enjoy web-slinging, even if it was slightly nauseating.

He brought her in through a window, and there, lo and behold, was Anthony Edward Stark.

“Hey, Pe-Spider-Man. Hello, stranger. Underoos, care to explain?”

Spider-Man scratched the back of his head sheepishly and took off his mask. Cindy knew in her gut that Peter Parker was Spider-Man, but –  _ fuck –  _ Peter Parker was Spider-Man. 

“So, you know how I was studying for the  Geography test with Ned?”

“Yep.”

“I was kind of using our class Quizlet? While I was fighting this enhanced guy? And Cindy kind of noticed the fact that I was using the Quizlet?”

Tony Stark sighed and ran his hands through his hair. “Peter. Bambino. If you’re going to have a secret identity, you should at least get better at keeping it.”

Cindy couldn’t contain herself any longer. “Do the webs come out of you?”

She wasn’t certain, but she thought that she heard Peter say, “Oh my god, it’s another Ned.”


	11. you're on speaker!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> or, peter doesn't seem to know where the silence button on his phone is.  
> disclaimer: i do not own the mcu, nor the characters i use in this fic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a warning, this is kind of anti-team cap. steve calls him and peter is Done. personally, im anti-what happened in siberia, and pro-team iron man, but not anti-the rest of steve's team. anyway, if you are team cap, i apologize.  
> also!! i just wanted to thank everyone for reading this. especially everyone who has left a kudo or a comment. i know that i dont respond to any of the comments, but i have read each one, and they honestly make my day and give me the inspiration to write a new chapter, so thank you :))

**i** **.**

Frankly, it was his spidey-sense's fault. It should have warned him about this. 

Peter was sitting in English, desperately trying to remember if he had even ended up reading Grapes of Wrath, while Ms. Cooper droned on, and on, and on, and on, and - 

_RING..._

_RING..._

"Mr. Parker!” Ms. Cooper exclaimed. “Turn off that phone this instant!” Peter nodded and immediately declined the call, before putting his phone on silent. 

“Now, to apologize for that interruption, can you please give me your opinion on Tom Joad’s characteri-” 

_RING..._

_RING..._

"Mr. Parker, I thought I made myself clear. Please pick up the phone and put it on speaker.” 

“Wh- but, Ms. Cooper, I swear, I put it on silent!” 

“Then how come I hear it ringing right now?” 

Peter knew why. Stupid FRIDAY and her stupid overriding procedure. (Peter immediately takes that back. FRIDAY is amazing and he would die for her.) 

Fishing his phone out of his pocket, Peter gawks. Pepper Potts had been calling him. He had hung up on Pepper Potts. 

“Well? Don’t keep us waiting! I’m sure we’re all _dying_ to hear about what’s so much more important than The Grapes of Wrath.” 

Peter could think of a lot of things that were more important than The Grapes of Wrath, actually, this probably being one of them. 

“But, ma’am, it’s official internship business -” 

“I’m sure it is, Mr. Parker,” Ms. Cooper said, her voice laced with sarcastic venom. “Now pick it up.” 

Resigned to his fate, Peter picked up the phone. 

“Peter?” Came Ms. Potts’s voice. “I was worried. You didn’t pick up.” 

“Ms. Potts, I’m at school.” 

“M-Ms. Potts?” Asked Ms. Cooper. 

“Peter, I’ve told you, call me Pepper. And, I thought you had lunch now?” 

“Nah, that’s on Wednesdays. It’s Tuesday.” 

“Wow. Goodness, having a toddler running around the Tower really messes up your perception of time. Sorry for bothering you, then, Peter, I just wanted to ask about the sizing of the battery for the Mark XI, but we can talk about that tonight. Have fun in class!” And Pepper disconnected the call. 

“W-Well, then,” said Ms. Cooper. “That was certainly a, uh, surprise.” 

**ii.**

News spread quickly, and everyone had formed an opinion on the phone call. Some, like Cindy Moon, will tell you that she is absolutely certain that she heard Pepper fucking Potts’s voice. 

Others, like Eugene ‘Flash’ Thompson, will tell you that it is all an elaborate lie formed by ‘Penis’ Parker, in order to back up his ‘fake’ internship. 

Peter tried to ignore the rumors, but that was hard to do when you were constantly being hounded about them. One would also think that Peter, seeing as he was constantly reminded and forced to deal with the repercussions of his phone not being on silent, would remember to put his phone on silent. Unfortunately, Peter did not, in fact, remember to put his phone on silent. 

_RING..._

_RING..._

Mr. Harrington had a zero-tolerance policy for phones during class, and he fixed Peter with what Peter could only assume was supposed to be a stern expression. 

“You know the rules, Peter, pick it up on speaker.” 

Burying his head in his hands, Peter checked the caller ID, and barely suppressed a groan. 

“You’re on speaker,” Peter grumbled as he accepted the call. 

“Speaker? Who else is there?” DR BRUCE FUCKING BANNER asked. 

“My chemistry class. I’m in class right now, Dr. Banner.” 

“Ah, yes, I forgot. Now, I was wondering if you could help me with a small problem.” 

“What?” 

“...” 

“...” 

“I seem to have forgotten.” 

“Dr. Banner, when’s the last time you slept?” 

FRIDAY chimed in: “Dr. Banner slept three hours two nights ago.” 

“Go to sleep!” Peter exclaimed, face-palming. 

“Yeah, okay, fair point.” Dr. Banner said, and Peter ended the call. 

“W-Wow,” Mr. Harrington stuttered. “Was that Dr. Bruce Banner?” 

Peter sighed. “Yeah.” 

**iii.**

Apparently, when you continuously come to school with mysterious burns and bruises, it’s a cause for concern. Peter wondered if that concern stemmed from him being a scholarship student, because it sure didn’t seem to exist when he was getting pummeled by Flash in plain sight. 

But Peter wasn’t bitter at all. No, siree. 

“Peter. This is a safe space,” Principal Morita said softly for about the hundredth time. “If you don’t tell us where your injuries are coming from, we will be forced to notify the authorities.” 

Before Peter could respond, his phone rang. Again. 

_RING..._

_RING..._

“God-fucking-dammit!” Peter yelled. “How does this keep happening?” 

“Language, Mr. Parker! This is the third incident in which you have forgotten to silence your phone in only two weeks. I do not want to have to take disciplinary action, but I will have to if this issue does not stop. Now, please pick up the phone. You know the drill by now, turn on speaker.” 

Rolling his eyes, Peter fished out his phone and accepted the call from Happy. 

“Hey, Happy, my principal can hear you.” 

“What?” 

“Long story, I guess.” 

“Whatever. Anyway, Morgan wanted to tell you something.” There was some shuffling on the other end of the receiver, and then Morgan’s voice came wafting through Peter’s speaker. 

“Petey! I lost my first tooth!” 

“Wow, Morgie!” Peter exclaimed. “That’s crazy! Did the Tooth Fairy come?” 

“Not yet, it’s not the nighttime, silly.” 

“Oh right, I’m so silly.” Principal Morita cleared his throat. “Okay, Morgan, I’ve got to go now, but it was great talking to you! See you after school!” 

And Peter hung up. 

**iv.**

The next incident happened in history class. Peter really should have expected it at this point. 

_RING..._

_RING..._

“Mr. Parker! Answer on speaker, now!” 

Peter groaned. How did he keep forgetting to silence his phone? But he groaned even harder when he saw the Caller ID. 

“No. No way. I am not picking this phone up.” 

“Yes you are, Mr. Parker. Or would you like a detention instead?” 

Peter was faced with a decision. Hear Captain America’s PSAs or be able to yell at Captain America over the phone, in front of his history class. 

Peter chose the second. 

“Hello, Steve,” Peter said, before the man could get a word in. “I’m going to make this brief, considering you’re a war criminal and I’m saying this in front of my history class, and all. So, here it is: fuck you.” Peter hung up and grinned. That had felt good. 

“O-Oh,” said Mr. Dell. “Continuing on, then...” 

**v**.

It was school-wide news at this point. People didn’t think that Peter could be so, incredibly dumb as to continuously forget to mute his phone, while others insisted that they RECOGNIZED THOSE VOICES, goddammit! 

Needless to say, Peter hadn’t been having a good month. Alas, in Physics, his phone rang yet again. 

_RING..._

_RING..._

"Seriously, Mr. Parker?” Ms. Warren said. “Silencing your phone is the first thing you should do when you enter my classroom.” 

“I’m so sorry, Ms. Warren,” Peter said, praying to Thor or whatever god that was out there that Ms. Warren wouldn’t make him answer on speaker. 

But. Parker Luck. 

“Answer your phone on speaker,” she said, and Peter let out a small cry of anguish when he saw who was calling. 

“Mr. Staaaaark,” Peter honest-to-god _whined_. “I’m in class. You’re on speaker. How many times is this going to happen to me?” 

“Ooh, I’m on speaker, huh?” 

“Ha, nice try, Penis, no way that’s Tony Stark.” 

Peter groaned as Tony growled, and soon, a hologram version of Tony sprouted from Peter’s phone. “Not me, huh?” 

Various gasps from students. 

“Yeah, hi, there, I’m Tony -” 

Peter cut him off by hitting the END CALL button, and holding his bright-red face in his hand. 

“What the fuck, Penis. How’d you do that?” 

“Fuck me,” Peter muttered under his breath, as Ms. Warren stared at him in disbelief. 

**+1**

He was in AcaDec when he got the call. 

“Peter? You good?” MJ asked as Peter furrowed his brow. 

“Yeah, just – I, uh, have a feeling about this call.” 

“Take it,” MJ said, focusing her attention back on the question cards. 

Peter nodded and pulled out his phone, and accepted the call from Tony. 

“Hey, Pete, you’re in Queens, right?” Battle noises sounded from around Tony. “We, uh, could use your help, if you’re willing?” 

“Of course, Mr. Stark!” Peter exclaimed. “Send Karen the coordinates!” 

“Already done, kiddo. See you there. Be safe.” 

Peter grinned as Tony ended the call and his teammates stared at him suspiciously. 

“You know what,” Peter said, adjusting his nanotech bracelets. “I’m fucking done.” And Peter tapped on the housing bracelets, releasing his Iron Spider suit. 

“I am Spider-Man.” 

And Peter swung out the window, leaving the flabbergasted faces of his team behind. 

(Later, Peter would regret this very much, as answering fangirl questions from an entire team is much worse than from one – ahem, ahem, Ned – fangirl.) 

(But he wouldn’t regret how great it had felt to have Mr. Stark ask him to help out with a mission.) 

(Really fucking great.) 


	12. bug bros!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> peter and the team go to get ice cream at ben & jerry's.  
> disclaimer: i do not own the mcu, nor any of the characters i use in this fic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the idea of having peter find scott at a ben & jerry's has been rattling around in my head for some time. also, in this chapter, scott has a nanotech ant-man suit, but does not live in the tower with the other avengers.  
> also, w h a t t h e h e l l this got Attention, apparently. thanks for reading!! just a warning, im going to be pretty busy next week, so i probably won't update again before the 7th-ish, maybe? but seriously, thank you so much for your support.  
> enjoy!  
> tw: mentions of underage prostitution (again).

“What is the diameter of Earth?” 

_Ding._

"8,000 miles.” 

“Correct. When was William Shakespeare born?” 

_Ding._

“1564.” 

“Correct. Who designed London’s Millenium Dome?” 

_Ding._

“Richard Rogers.” 

“Correct. How many moons does Jupiter have?” 

_Ding._

“67.” 

“Correct. What law states that the amount of heat needed to change one substance to another depends on the substances and not on the reactions involved?” 

_Ding._

“Hess’s Law.” 

“Correct.” MJ nodded approvingly and set down her stack of practice questions. “Good job, losers. Want to head out?” 

Cindy let out a dramatic gasp. “MJ? Giving us a break from practice? The fuck?” 

MJ rolled her eyes. “I’m trying to be nice, nerd, but if you don’t want to -” 

“No, no!” Peter exclaimed, jolting out of his chair. “We want to. Ben & Jerry’s?” 

Most of the members of the team nodded, and only Flash scoffed, though Peter was pretty sure that Flash would have reacted that way to anything that came out of his mouth. 

The team left the practice room and headed to Ben & Jerry’s, eager to get some ice cream after the hot, spring day. 

“So, Penis,” Flash said, walking at the front of the group. “How’s Tony Stark?” 

Peter rolled his eyes. “How would I know, Flash? I’m just an intern.” 

Sally bit her lip. “Then how come you always get picked up by that fancy limo?” 

“Uh, I – I won this limo service in a raffle.” 

“Uh-huh...” Sally said, nudging Betty in the side, who rolled her eyes. 

“Peter, can you please tell Sally, Abe, Charles, and Cindy that you’re not a male escort?” 

Peter froze in his tracks. “Um, what the fuck?” 

“Well, are you?” Charles asked, crossing his arms defensively. 

“No!” Shouted Peter. “I don’t know why this needs to be said, but no, I am not a male escort.” 

“Yeah, who’d want Parker, anyway?” Flash said, rolling his eyes. 

“I don’t know, man, he has abs for days.” 

“N-No, I don’t!” 

Flash raised an eyebrow and poked Peter in the gut, and then gawked. “That’s rock hard.” 

Face burning bright red, Peter looked towards MJ and Ned for assistance, but the former was stifling a laugh and drawing Peter in her crisis sketchbook, while the latter looked just as panicked as Peter. Great. 

“Y-Y-Yeah, I work out a lot.” 

“Oh my god,” Seymour muttered. “I know what’s going on.” 

“Huh?” Peter said, rubbing at the back of his neck. 

“Peter’s in a fight club.” 

Betty shook her head, but the rest of the team all gawked in awe. “How did we not see this sooner?!” Cindy exclaimed, running a hand through her hair. “The abs, the bruises, the flakiness... what the fuck, Peter?” 

“I’m not in a fight club!” Peter exclaimed. “I’m just an intern!” 

Unfortunately, this excuse did not seem to satisfy them, and they began buzzing excitedly amongst themselves, thrilled at finally uncovering the mysterious secret of Peter Parker. 

“Fuck my life,” Peter muttered as they approached the ice cream store, sighing heavily and shooting MJ a look of betrayal. 

When he got to the counter of the ice cream store, however, he stopped dead in his tracks. “Scott?!” He asked incredulously. “What the fuck are you doing here?” 

“Peter?” Scott asked, cocking his head to the side. 

“Holy shit,” Abe said. “You’re Ant-Man.” 

Scott’s face lit up. “Wow, you’re like the first person to recognize me.” 

“Why are you working at a Ben & Jerry’s, Scott?” Peter asked, clearly perturbed. 

“Dude, I’m an ex-felon. What else am I supposed to do?” 

“I don’t know, talk to Mr. Stark? He literally bought Netflix the other day because I mentioned that I’d like an _account_. You could live with the Avengers. Like, none of them have jobs. Besides, it’d be easier for you to get with them on missions.” 

Scott cocked his head to the side, in thought, as the rest of the AcaDec team shot each other bewildered glances. It was silent, until Betty spoke up. “Mr. Lang, how do you know Peter?” 

“He’s my Bug Bro!” Scott said, grinning, until Peter gave him an urgent look. “I mean... he’s not? My Bug Bro?” 

“What the fuck,” Flash muttered, staring at Scott. 

“What Scott MEANS to say, is that I know the Avengers from my internship, and Scott and I like to play with his ants together.” 

“Y-Yeah, what Peter said.” 

Sally raised her eyebrows. “ _Internship.”_

"Don’t say it like _that_!” Peter complained. “I’m not a male escort! I do not ‘service’ the Avengers! The Avengers aren’t pedophiles! I am just a Stark intern!” 

“Okay, Peter,” Abe said. “But why do you know the Avengers from your internship?” 

Peter groaned. “I’m Mr. Stark’s personal intern, okay? I didn’t tell you, because it’s not like you would have believed me!” 

Before anyone could say anything else, however, Peter’s spidey-sense BLARED, and he screamed: “GET DOWN!” 

Throwing himself on top of as many of his teammates as he could, everyone was quickly thrown to the ground when a barrage of bullets pelted through the glass windows, spraying fragments of glass all over the store. 

Everyone gasped, eyes wide, as three people, armed with guns, jumped in through the widow frame. 

“Give us all of your money,” a woman spat, rubbing the back of her arm across her face. 

Scott held his hands up in a placating gesture. “Okay. I can do that for you. Just give me one second.” Scott tapped the watches on his arms, and a nanotech Ant-Man suit engulfed him. 

“What the -” one of the gunmen said, but Scott had already shrunken before he could finish that sentiment, and was dodging the many bullets the three people were shooting. 

“Uh, Peter,” Scott said, his voice reduced by his size, so that only Peter could hear him. “A little help?” 

“I just wanted some ice cream,” Peter muttered as he rolled up his sleeves and shot a web at the second gunman, the first already taken down by Scott. 

The third tried to get a shot at MJ in, but Peter quickly pushed her out of the way and webbed the muzzle of the gun shut before the bullet could leave the chamber, and secured her tightly against the wall with his webs. 

Panting, Peter surveyed the scene. It was not good. His Academic Decathalon team was staring wide-eyed at him, under a spray of glass, Scott had regrown and was shooting Peter an apologetic look, and many spectators had caught the entire battle on video. 

“Goddamn it,” Peter said, turning his attention to his teammates. “Do you believe that I’m not a prostitute now?” 

Not knowing what else to do, the team nodded like bobbleheads. 

\--- 

**SPIDER-MAN’S IDENTITY REVEALED**

**BY: AVERY JONES**

_Spider-Man, Queens’s beloved vigilante, was revealed to be Peter Parker, a 16-year-old high school sophomore from Queens, NY. Parker attends school at Midtown School of Science and Technology, and is on the Academic Decathalon team. His parents died when he was four years old, and he went to live with his aunt and uncle. When he was 13, his uncle was shot in front of him, and soon after, Spider-Man appeared. Parker’s classmates have stated that Peter claimed to have a Stark internship, but no one had believed him, as Stark Industries does not accept high school interns._

_The students now understand that the internship was a cover, though one close friend of Parker’s, who chooses to remain anonymous says, “After Peter helped him in Germany, Stark started this sort of superhero-mentorship thing. Then, Stark fucked up, long story, but they became really close, and Peter actually became his personal intern. If you ask me, though, they’re father and son.”_

_Parker’s identity was revealed in a robbery at a local Ben & Jerry’s gone wrong. Three gunmen, identified as Marcus Edison, Geoffrey Jordan, and Lara Brown, forcibly entered the ice cream store, and demanded cash. _

_Luckily, Scott Lang, better known as Ant-Man, happened to be working his shift, and began stopping the criminals. Betty Brant, an aspiring reporter and member of Parker’s Academic Decathlon team, says, “Ant-Man requested Peter’s help in apprehending the gunmen. I was baffled, as Peter always led us to believe that he was, to put it frankly, a weak nerd. Peter then shot out a web, and everything clicked into place.”_

_This explains the mysterious appearance of Spider-Man at the Washington Monument, when it began collapsing due to the_ _Chitauri_ _power core, which confused many Spider-Man fanatics._

_All this time, Queens has been relying on their spandex-clad vigilante, forgetting the fact that he was a real person behind the mask – a child behind the mask._

_Ned Leeds, Parker’s “Guy in the chair and best friend,” tells us that, “Peter’s been through so much, but he keeps a happy attitude through it all. He lets himself get pushed around, even though he’s stronger, because he doesn’t want other kids to have to deal with it. During our homecoming dance, for example, Peter had just asked out Liz Toomes, a girl he had a crush on for a really long time, but then... well, you know. Her father ended up being Adrian Toomes, and instead of enjoying his night, he thought that he had a responsibility to stop the guy. I’m proud to call him my best friend.”_

_But we still haven’t fully unraveled the mystery of this golden-hearted Peter Parker. One bystander at the scene of Spider-Man's identity reveal, an Abby Johnson, states that she heard, “Spider-Man say something about not being a prostitute? I don’t know, it was fishy.”_

_In response to this claim, Michelle Jones, a close friend of Parker, smirked and said, ”The team thought that Peter was a male escort because of his disappearances, abs, flakiness, etc. He’s not.”_

_I don’t know, it seems a bit suspicious to me..._

_What do you think about Peter Parker?_

_Do you think that he’s a male escort?_

_Do you think that he’s old enough to be a superhero?_

_Do you think that Tony Stark dragged him into this?_

_Send your opinion piece to our paper at:_ [ _www.dailybugle/submitoped.com_ ](http://www.dailybugle/submitoped.com) _!_


	13. a/n - NOT AN UPDATE IM SORRY BUT PLEASE READ

i am so sorry for this, i just wanted to say that im running a little low on ideas because i canNOT find my idea doc for the life of me, so if you have any requests/prompts, please comment!! also, its laughable that i thought i was going to stay off ao3 for the week, an update should be coming by wednesday at the latest, but hopefully sometime today, i just wanted to get this out of the way first.

one more thing - here are some of the ideas i have right now, please comment if you're interested in any of these???

> 1\. tony is kidnapped and assumed dead, peter is highkey falling apart, then one day he bursts into midtown and everyone is /shocked pikachu meme/
> 
> 2\. i saw this idea somewhere i think?? ned brings peter to the spider-man fan club on a rough day
> 
> 3\. an outsider pov, maybe the school calls cps bc they see that peter's always injured?
> 
> 4\. a twitter fic
> 
> 5\. a field trip to si when the avengers do not know peter's identity.

including those, i have maybe 15?? more chapter ideas, which i guess is a lot, but i still lost a bunch, so id really appreciate it if you have any prompts! if not, thats totally cool beans, at midnight my brain is basically an identity reveal/irondad idea generator, so hopefully this collection will stay strong for a while.

finallyyyy, your comments are seriously so great. my mental health is really all over the place, but this website and you guys have been helping s o m u c h ahhhh!!

THANK YOU ALL FOR READING, YOU SERIOUSLY MAKE MY DAY :)


	14. sweater weather.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> peter grabs the first hoodie he sees before heading to school.  
> this was a bad thing to do.  
> \--  
> disclaimer: i do not own the mcu, nor the characters that i use in this fic.  
> enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ,,,, yall are the best. seriously. thank you for all of your responses, they really made my day. the next update will most likely be the tony is presumed dead one, because that got the most positive feedback, but ill probably write some of the others as well. there most likely won't be another after this one until the 7th (i know i said this before but im serious this time probably), mainly because wandavision is sucking up all of my mental capacity, and i didnt give it permission to do so. but! the week after ill be pretty free, so cue me writing fanfic from midnight to 5:00 AM! healthy sleep schedules, am i right?  
> anyway, enjoy the update that took me way too long to write!  
> warning: theres some violence in the beginning of this one, including a minor character's (the criminal"s) suicide. stay safe <3

"Hey, Karen, what do you have for me?" Peter asked as he swung through Queens.

"Police are requesting backup for a hostage situation several blocks from your current location. Shall I plot the fastest route there?"

"Yep, thanks, K!"

Sure enough, Karen's instructions appeared in his mask, and he followed them to an array of police cars and sirens. 

"Hey, Spider-Man!" A detective Peter had seen around a few times said. 

"Hello there, sir, can I help you with the hostages?"

"Guy wants three million dollars, says for every hour he doesn't have it, he'll shoot a hostage."

"Okay, how long ago did he say that?"

"'Bout forty minutes ago."

Peter nodded and decided to just swing in and not risk the possibility that the criminal's watch was extra fast. Scaling the wall, Peter found a window and forced it open with his super-strength, then tuned in to the noise he heard a few floors down.

"Shut up!"

"Please, sir, I have a family."

"I don't give a shit, I'll kill you unless I get my money."

"It's my daughter's fifth birthday, please, I promise I won't say anything, I don't want any troub-"

"You say one more word and I'll put a bullet through your brain."

Peter grimaced and jumped through the window, creeping down the hallway until he came across a stairwell. The voices grew louder once he opened the heavy metal door, so he began jumping down the steps until he heard the sounds coming directly from across the hall. 

Bracing himself, Peter kicked open the door and immediately shot a web at the gun, snatching it from the criminal's hand and crushing it with his fingers. But the criminal only smiled and pulled his vest off. There were about fifteen bombs strapped to his chest, and he started the timer.

"Fuck!" Peter exclaimed, immediately beginning to haul out the civilians. The clock ticked by.

_1:30._

_1:29._

_1:28._

_1:27._

_1:26._

_1:25._

There were eight hostages and only one, very small window, so Peter had to haul them out one-by-one. It was a painstaking process, and the stress was starting to get to Peter.

_1:05._

_1:04._

_1:03._

_1:02._

_1:01._

_1:00._

A third of the time had passed and Peter had managed to get the first three hostages out, pushing the next civilian through the window as fast as he could.

"Peter, you appear to be in distress. Shall I alert Boss?"

"No, K, he won't be able to get here in time, I've got this." 

:35.

:34.

:33.

:32.

:31.

:30.

Only one more hostage left. Peter lifted her up and dangled her out the window, the police officers grabbing her quickly. Once all of the civilians were out, Peter let out a huge sigh of relief. And then the bombs went off.

Everything was pain, pain, and pain. Peter couldn't see, he couldn't hear, all he knew was pain. His eyes burned with a piercing white light and his ears rang incessantly. And pain, pain, pain, pain, pain pain... 

["Alerting Boss, Peter."]

Pain... pain... and then darkness...

\--

Peter woke up in his bed. He felt a little sore, but other than that, fine. Vaguely, he recalled being blown up last night, but he put the thought out of his mind and craned his neck to look at the note on his bedside table:

_Kid._

_What the fuck were you thinking? If Karen hadn't alerted me, you could have died. I care about you, Peter, and I wouldn't be able to live with myself if you did. And I don't think you want Tony Stark's downfall to be on your conscience, so stay safe, alright?_

_We treated you at the MedBay, but May insisted on bringing you back to your room, in case you were wondering. Anyway, I wish that I could be there for your grand awakening, but unfortunately, Pep's dragged me to yet another boring shareholders meeting. Give me a call when you wake up, though._

_Feel better, kid._

_\- TS_

Peter smiled at the letter from his mentor. 

_'I care about you, Peter.'_

Just as he was about to call the man, his heart stopped beating for a moment. Did... did the bomb-guy die?

Peter immediately searched: queens bombing on Google, and pulled up the first article he found.

_'...Spider-Man managed to save all of the hostages from mortal injury, though a few received minor injuries from the blow. Spider-Man appears to be the only one to sustain serious injury, aside from the bomber, who did perish."_

His heart caught in his throat. Someone died. Someone had _died_. 

Peter had vowed to save everyone he could, to never let ANYONE die, no matter how much of a dick they may be. And, granted, this guy had seemed like a major dick, but Peter hadn't known the whole story! And, no matter what, he didn't deserve to die.

Suddenly, Peter didn't really want to call Tony anymore, and he wasn't so hungry for breakfast either. Peter grabbed a random pair of jeans, graphic tee, and hoodie from his closet, and threw them on, grabbing his backpack and silencing his phone so that he wouldn't have to see the texts from Tony that usually warmed his heart. 

Peter didn't even bother to grab the bus or check the time, electing instead to take the long walk to Midtown. When he was about 3/4 of the way there, his head was a bit cleared and he felt a lot better, so he called his mentor-turned-father-figure.

"Hey, Mr. Stark," Peter said, ignoring the weird looks he was getting. Wait, why was he getting weird looks? Did he take two different shoes again? How did that keep happening? Tony snapped him out of his rabbit hole.

"Hello there, Sleeping Beauty. How was your nap?"

"Eh, I've had better. Mr. Stark, he died."

Tony was silent for a moment. "You couldn't have done anything, kiddo. You saved everybody else."

Peter didn't answer that. "Everybody's looking at me weird, Mr. Stark, I think I wore two different shoes again." Peter glanced down at his feet. "Huh. No, that's not it."

"Is everything okay, Pete?"

"I'm probably just being paranoid."

"Okay. Now, time for the Don't Get Yourself Blown Up Again talk."

Peter rolled his eyes fondly as he felt his guilt lessen and lessen and felt his spirits rise and rise. Finally, he reached the Midtown building. "Alright, talk to you later, Mr. Stark, bye!"

"Bye, kid."

After Tony hung up, Peter jogged up the stairs and grinned at Ned, who was gaping at him. "Okay, what the fuck?" Peter asked, growing impatient. "Why has everyone been staring at me today?"

"Peter..." Ned began, but MJ interrupted him as she walked toward the pair and playfully flicked Peter on the head.

"Hey, dork," she said, before eying him up and down and rolling her eyes. "You're an idiot."

"What did I do?"

"Look at your sweater, loser."

Groaning, Peter pulled off his hoodie and raised his eyebrows expectantly. Then his eyes widened comically and he looked at his sweater again. "That's..."

"Your old Spider-Man hoodie!" Ned blurted out, loud enough for the entire school to hear.

"Ned!" Peter whisper-shouted.

\--

"Okay, cut the shit, Parker, where did you get it?" Flash said at Acadec. Peter's spidey-sense had been dully screaming at him that people were watching him all day, and all he wanted was to crawl in a hole and die, but the AC was blasting, and if he didn't wear his sweater he could contract hypothermia (fucking spider-bite).

"I, uh, bought it on E-Bay?" Peter said, and then his phone rang. Raising an eyebrow, Peter checked the caller ID, and did a double take as he saw Tony's contact. Fumbling with the cell, Peter picked up. "Er, hi?"

"Mr. Parker!" Tony exclaimed, clearly amused. "Care to tell me why my Twitter feed is full of users asking me about a certain boy wearing Spider-Man's original costume?"

"Well, you see..." Peter began, "I... kind of just grabbed it."

Tony mumbled something incoherent. "Yeah, well, everyone's wildly spectating about you at this point, and the general consensus is that you're in an illegal relationship with a fully adult Spider-Man, so unless you'd like that rumor to continue to spread, you need to address it."

"Me-Me or, uh, internship-me?"

Tony snorted. "Both. There are hordes of the shittiest reporters outside your school, so Peter Parker can tell his story then, and Spider-Man can back it up on patrol. Got it?"

"Yeah, yeah, totally, but, uh, just for the FBI agent listening in - what exactly is my story?"

Tony sighed. "You're my personal intern, Spidey left his old suit in my lab and you grabbed it without looking."

"Oh, yeah, that makes sense. Okay, I'm in AcaDec, gotta go, sorry about this, Mr. Stark."

"No worries, kiddo. It wasn't your fault, what happened last night. Repeat that."

Peter didn't say anything for a few seconds. "It wasn't my fault."

"Good. Bye, Pete."

Peter's AcaDec team glanced at him expectantly. "So, er, I didn't actually buy it on E-Bay. I'm Mr. Stark's personal intern, and Spider-Man left his old suit at the lab, so I grabbed it without looking because I thought it was my hoodie?"

"Are you asking us or telling us, Parker," MJ said with a snort.

"T-Telling."

\--

Peter groaned as the cameras flashed in his eyes as he left school. 

"Mr. Parker, care to comment on the recent rumors surrounding yours and Spider-Man's romantic relationship?"

"Mr. Parker, over here, are you dating Spider-Man?"

"Mr. Parker, Mr. Parker, where did you get Spider-Man's old suit?"

"Enough!" Peter yelled, panting slightly. "Fuck you. Fuck all of you. My life is none of your goddamn business."

"It is if Spider-Man is preying on a high schooler," one reporter pointer out.

"Fuck this," Peter muttered, throwing his sweater away and revealing the web shooters concealed on his wrists. The reporters gasped as Peter swung away.

\--

"Hey, Pete," Tony said as Peter swung through the window. "Can you tell me why you thought that the reporters would back off if you said that?"

Peter scratched his head sheepishly. "I, uh, thought that I'd throw them off their rhythm?"


	15. after the blip.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> midtown hires a guidance counselor to help blipped students adjust.  
> also posted as a one-shot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ,,,, hello. its, uh, been a while. i'm back?? maybe???  
> ive been having a lot of writer's block. i wrote a draft of the tony-stark-presumed-dead idea that i had, but im Not Good at writing angst, so im trying to edit it before i post it.  
> i was originally just going to post this as a one-shot, but then i remembered that i haven't updated this collection in forever, and this is an identity reveal, so, here you go?  
> also - i named principal morita jim after his grandpa, sorry for any confusion. i also have not seen ffh, so this isn't compliant with any of the minor characters at midtown who may or may not have been snapped.  
> i apologize for any mistakes, i wrote this at an ungodly hour.  
> thanks for your support as always, im going to try to write some more this week!!  
> <3

Avery Brown threw on a gray sweater and looked at herself in the mirror, before tossing it off and pulling on a plain black hoodie instead. After staring at her reflection for a few minutes, she decided that the hoodie was satisfactory, picked up her bag, and took out her Metro card. 

Today was her first day at her new job – counselling at Midtown High School of Science and Technology. Because of the Snap, Blip, Decimation, whatever you wanted to call it, her psychology degree was finally paying off, and she had been able to snag a well-paying job only a few days after reappearing. 

It had been... strange... reappearing. Her sister had gotten in a car accident during the five years. That had been difficult. Her parents had remarried, gotten divorced, and remarried yet again, which was bizarre, because she had always gotten the impression that they absolutely despised each other. Then there was the matter of rent skyrocketing, and she had barely managed to move into a tiny one-bedroom apartment with leaky faucets and creaky floorboards on her second day back. She had crashed at a shelter on the first. 

So, yeah, the past two weeks had been really, really, weird, and the only decent thing that had happened was this new job. Jim, the principal, told her that she was to meet with each blipped student in the junior and senior years, and that these sessions were mandatory for every child, no matter how stubbornly they may insist that they were fine. 

Each student would receive two hour-long sessions, in which Avery was encouraged to talk to them about how the Decimation affected their lives. As she stuck her, apparently, outdated earbuds in her ears, she mentally ran through the questions she had compiled over the past few nights in preparation, and opened the schedule Jim had shared with her. 

Every day, she would meet with two juniors and two seniors. There were 28 juniors that had been snapped, and 34 seniors – 124 hours in total, which meant 31 school days. That wasn’t so bad! From then on, it would be easy breezing, being paid for writing her manuscript and attempting to find her future wife as she sat in the guidance office and waited for a student in desperate need of mental assistance that never came. 

Bliss. 

Armed with this future paradise, Avery pulled up the files of the students she would be meeting with today: Betty Brant and Maya Drake from junior year, and Kevin Appleton and Lisa Flora from senior year. Betty and Kevin appeared to be model students, without even a single detention on their records. Maya had one suspension for a horrible prank gone wrong, and Lisa had an incredible accumulation of unexcused absences, but all in all, they seemed like great kids. 

This job was going to be a breeze. 

\--- 

Avery walked up the steps to the MSST building and cautiously made her way to Jim’s office, waiting a few moments before being ushered in by his secretary. 

“Dr. Brown,” Jim said, grinning and motioning for her to sit down. “It’s great to welcome you to our school.” 

Avery smiled. “Thank you for this opportunity , I really hope that I can help your students.” 

“As do I, Dr. Brown, as do I. These past five years have been... well. Now, the non-blipped students will be having sessions with Ms. G, she’s been the guidance counselor since well before the Decimation, and most of them have already formed a strong bond with her.” 

“Yes, I think it’s best for me to focus on the students that I can personally connect with.” 

(I think it’s best for me to focus on as few students as possible because I’m barely coping with all of this shit myself and I just want to get married and adopt fifty-two cats and a little rabbit named Fluffy and a bulldog and -) 

“- Is that satisfactory?” Jim’s voice cut her out of her reverie and she nodded, internally cursing herself and hoping that whatever ‘that’ was, was, in fact, satisfactory. “Great. Emily will show you to your office. Thank you.” 

And with that, Jim nodded at her and turned his attention to a stack of papers, so Avery got up and found Emily, the secretary. 

“Hello, I’m Dr. Brown, could you please show me to my office?” 

Emily smiled at Avery and her heels clacked on the tile floor as she led Avery through the building, and into a roomy office with wide windows beckoning in the sun. Avery soaked the sunshine in and began setting herself up, logging into her e-mail account on the school-issued desktop computer, and setting her assortment of knick-knacks along the edge of the desk. 

Once she was done, she glanced at the clock, and, sure enough, the bell rang a few minutes later. Her first patient would be Betty Brant, in twenty minutes. 

But in the meantime... 

Avery opened up her Tumblr account and began mindlessly scrolling through her feed, wondering if she would have to duct-tape herself together in order to stay strong for the students that needed her. 

\--- 

Well, the first day had been decent enough. Betty Brant’s entire immediate family had been snapped, as well as her best friend Cindy, so she hadn’t had too much emotional baggage, and they had mainly talked about the bigger picture of the universe moving on. Maya Drake had refused to share any details of her personal life, so the two had made small talk about some of the changes Maya had observed around Midtown. Kevin Appleton’s mom had been single ever since he was born, but she had gotten married during the five years, and he discussed what it was like having a step-father around the house. Lisa Flora was a bundle of nervous energy, who hadn’t stopped buzzing anxiously about what would happen with college during the entire appointment. 

Avery was just thankful that she hadn’t had to get into any heavy stuff, like missed deaths and funerals, or like the stories she had heard of people reappearing in the middle of the street and being killed. So, yeah, decent enough, and she had had plenty of time to brainstorm names for her future kittens during Lisa’s session. 

\--- 

The days passed, somehow, and the sessions got heavier. Avery’s life got heavier. But her pockets got heavier, too, and she was finally able to move back into the apartment she had owned pre-Snap, a modest two-bedroom place, with a nice view of the city. 

Yawning softly as she entered her office with a steaming cup of coffee, Avery crashed into her chair and checked her schedule. Amy Garcia, Ned Leeds, River Andrews, and Sophia Reed, today. The bell rang, Avery pulled out Amy’s file, and waited. 

After Amy’s session, in which the girl dramatically recounted the death of her beloved dog, Mr. Furrybottom, during her vanished years, Avery dozed off for a few minutes, until the bell awoke her, and she prepared for Ned Leeds’s arrival. 

Avery was pretty good at reading people – that skill came with being a therapist. Ned Leeds seemed to exist in a perpetual state of wonder, loyalty, and exhaustion. 

“Mr. Leeds?” Avery asked as Ned carefully entered the room and positioned himself on her beanbag chair. 

“Uh, yeah, that’s me. And you’re...” 

“Ah, I’m Dr. Brown, but you can call me Avery.” 

“Okay.” 

“I assume you know what you’re here to talk about?” 

“Y-Yeah, the, er, Decimation.” 

“Yes. Before I ask anything, is there something on your mind that you’d like to talk about?” 

Ned opened his mind, considered something, and closed it. “No, Ma’am.” 

Bullshit. But he clearly didn’t trust Avery yet, which was understandable, considering he had literally just met her, so she decided to ask some general questions. 

“Alright, how has the Snap affected your family?” 

“My mom wasn’t snapped, but my other mom, my little sister, and I were. She’s been pretty overprotective of all of us lately, I’m not even allowed to sleep over at a friend’s house, but I guess that’s understandable. I just feel really bad that I left her.” 

“That’s tough,” Avery nodded sympathetically . “Have you tried talking to her about her, for lack of a better term, clinginess? Or any other members of your family?” 

“Nah, I feel like we’re just waiting it out. She’s always been pretty protective, she didn’t let me go with Peter to the T -” Ned cut himself off and stared wide-eyed at Avery, before promptly clamping his mouth shut. “The, uh, trapeze. He’s really good with it. Yeah, she didn’t even let me see it until I finally wore her down after a few months. Er, anyway, I don’t want to rush her. If this is what she needs, I want to be there for her.” 

“And has anything else changed?” 

“Not really. My little sister, her name’s Lily, she’s only six. I don’t think she understands any of what happened, but Mom won’t let her out of her sight at all. Lily’s always been a bit of an attention hog, though, so I think she likes that.” Ned smiled. 

Avery let out a polite chuckle. “How’s school? And your friends?” 

“School’s fine. I’m still nervous for the SAT, though who knows what’s going to happen with that. My friends are awesome.” 

“Can you tell me about them?” 

“Sure. Peter Parker’s my best friend. We’ve been friends since first grade. He’s the best person I’ve ever met, I just... I just wish he could realize that, see himself the way I see him.” 

Ah. This ‘Peter’ character, again. Ned seemed to be bearing some sort of weight from Peter that Avery was most certainly interested in, but it wasn’t her place, and instead, she had to let him continue waxing poetic about how brave, kind, and funny Peter was, without digging deeper into the faraway look that gleamed in Ned’s eye. He had another friend, Michelle Jones, who Avery would be speaking to tomorrow. She was apparently extremely closed-off, so that was sure to be a thrilling session. 

The rest of Ned’s appointment went well. Aside from whatever was bothering him about Peter Parker, he appeared to be coping as well as expected with all that had happened, and wasn’t that as much as anyone could ask for at this point? 

\--- 

“Michelle Jones,” Avery said, greeting the bored-looking teenager with a smile. 

“Mm.” 

“Well, to begin with, is there anything you’d like to talk about?” 

“I’d like to talk about the systematic oppression that occurs in our society on the daily -” 

“I meant about the Snap,” Avery said, too exhausted to delve into politics. 

Michelle crossed her arms and kicked her legs over the side of the beanbag. 

“Nope.” 

“Alright. How has your family been affected by Thanos?” 

“Ways.” 

“Care to elaborate?” 

“Nope.” 

Avery stifled a groan, and from the smirk that pulled at the edges of Michelle’s lips, Avery was pretty sure that the girl enjoyed seeing her suffer. “Michelle, I just want to help.” 

“I don’t want your help. I already go to therapy.” 

“I understand that, but these sessions are for you to solely discuss the impact that the Decimation has had on your life with someone you will likely never have to interact with again, save for our second session and any other times you approach me.” 

Michelle considered this before getting up from her beanbag chair, turning on her heel, flipping Avery off, and leaving the office. 

Well. 

That had been pleasant. 

Technically, only four minutes had passed by, but Michelle really hadn’t been cooperative, and she did already have therapy, so would it really harm anyone if Avery took the extra time to text that nice lesbian she had met last night? 

No, it wouldn’t, and Michelle had been wearing a bisexual pride pin, so surely she would understand the circumstances, as well. 

Avery texted the lesbian. 

The lesbian’s name was, apparently, Carol. 

Avery continued to text Carol, who, from what she gathered, was an absolute badass, until the bell rang and brought Avery out of her lovesick daydreaming. 

\--- 

Carol would sometimes stop texting back for days at a time, and at other times she would be online for hours upon hours. Carol seemed to have flexible job hours, which would make her a convenient pet-sitter for their many, many, pets. 

_Knock it off, Avery!_ Avery scolded herself. _You barely even know her and you’re already buying your future kittens’ litter boxes!_

(This was true, and returns had been hella expensive, so she had decided to keep them anyway.) 

Avery was wondering what she would name her future tortoise when a thin, yet muscular boy appeared in her doorway sheepishly. 

Peter Parker. 

“Uh, hi,” he said cautiously, picking at his nails. “I have my therapy thing?” 

“Ah, yes, Peter Parker?” Avery said, setting her phone down and pulling up Peter’s file. 

“Y-Yeah.” Peter’s eyes darted from Avery, who was scanning her desktop screen, to the door, to the beanbag chair, and ended up closing the door softly and sitting down cautiously in the beanbag. 

“Oh, you can get yourself comfortable.” Peter shifted in the beanbag, but continued to sit fairly rigidly, so Avery moved on. “Alright. Well, first of all, is there anything you’d like to talk about?” Peter bit his lip and then shook his head. “Hm. Okay. Well, how has your family been affected by the Snap?” 

Peter sighed and returned to picking at his nails. “I have a little sister now.” 

“That’s a big change. How old is she?” 

“Five. Pep- uh, my, er, mom? was pregnant with her when...” Peter gulped and stared out the window. 

“Your mother?” Avery glanced over Peter’s file once more. GUARDIAN: MAY PARKER, RELATIONSHIP: AUNT. May didn’t sound anything like ‘Pep,’ either. 

“O-Oh! Well, uh, May...” Peter trailed off and squeezed his eyes shut, desperately trying to stifle a sob that was bubbling up his throat. 

“I’m sorry, Peter, I didn’t mean to push. Is there a reason that your file hasn’t been updated?” 

Peter regained composure and wiped at his eyes. “The government’s pretty busy, I guess. I was adopted by a family friend.” 

“And how does that make you feel?” 

“Well... none of them were snapped. I guess I feel like I’m intruding, you know? I mean, before this whole thing happened, we were pretty close, and he told me that he did it for me, but -” Peter’s eyes widened comically before covering his mouth with his hands and biting his lip. 

“Did what for you?” Avery prompted. 

“Oh, it’s, uh, personal! Yeah, yeah, personal.” 

“Okay. I don’t mean to push. How are you adjusting to living with this new family?” 

“They’re really great. I just miss May... a lot, I guess. And I don’t want them to think that I’m ungrateful that they took me in, I’m so, so, thankful for that, I just really, really miss her.” 

Avery nodded, and decided to turn the conversation to a lighter subject. “Can you tell me about your little sister, then?” 

Sure enough, Peter’s face lit up. 

“Oh, man, she’s the best. She looks at you like you’re just the greatest thing ever, you know? She looks just like her dad, and she’s as snarky as him, but she’s also definitely as powerful as her mom, maybe even more so.” Peter smiled softly. 

“What’s her name?” 

“Um, I – er -” 

“You don’t have to tell me,” Avery said respectfully, albeit perplexed, and the boy physically relaxed. After Peter spent the rest of the hour cryptically discussing his home life, the bell rang, and Avery let herself relax into her chair as Peter left. 

She rolled her shoulders back, cracked her knuckles, and let out a loud yawn, before rubbing her eyes and turning her computer back on. Immediately, she was bombarded with breaking news, and her jaw dropped as she read the headlines. 

TONY STARK, IRON MAN, CONFIRMED DEAD 

TONY STARK’S SACRIFICE 

CAPTAIN AMERICA CONFIRMS IRON MAN’S DEATH 

TONY STARK: DEAD AT 53 

A CHANGED MAN – TONY STARK’S EVOLUTION FROM PLAYBOY TO HERO 

What. The. Fuck. 

The government had issued a curt statement with a very brief summary of the events related to the whole dusty situation, but they really hadn’t said much about the victory, and there had been much theorizing, especially concerning the mysterious absence of Tony Stark from the media. 

And now... 

Avery remembered hating the man, hating his smug face as he was paid for killing thousands upon thousands, and she remembered her shock as he flew through the air, leaving a trail of smoke behind him. 

She wasn’t his greatest fan, but she could still appreciate the way he’d improved himself, but now he was dead. He’d always seemed invincible. 

Honestly, Avery wasn’t sure how to take this news. She fired off a text to Carol: ‘have you heard the news about tony stark? can’t believe he’s really dead,’ sighed, and decided to go on a short walk to clear her mind. When she got home, Carol had responded with: ‘yep me neither,’ which seemed to possess some sort of inappropriate tone for the occasion, as well as an e-mail from Midtown. 

‘Dear Midtown faculty and student body, 

Due to the sacrifice by Tony Stark that has recently come to light, Midtown will be holding a memorial service on Monday, led by Betty Brant and Jason Ionello , during first period. 

Well wishes, 

Principal Morita.’ 

Avery smiled and nodded slightly, knowing that many of the student body had been big Iron Man fans – or even just fans of Tony Stark. 

\--- 

Monday came, and by then, she had officially finished each of her students’ first sessions. _Halfway through, Avery_ , she reminded herself. _Halfway through until you don’t have to think about anything other than Carol..._

On Monday, Avery decided to wear an Iron Man hoodie, in honor of the man. Jim had told her to watch the gathering on the live feed from her office, in case anyone was overwhelmed and wanted to discuss the events with her, which she was more than happy to do. Carol was online today, and Avery had to physically stop herself from putting the first deposit down on a cottage she found upstate. 

As the bell rang, Avery logged onto the live feed, and Betty Brant stood proudly on the stage in front of the entire student body. 

“Hello. I’m Betty Brant. Everyone’s heard of Tony Stark, everyone’s heard of Iron Man, and today, we mourn a fallen hero.” The lights dimmed and a slideshow began playing. 

The slideshow featured the latest earworm that just reminded Avery of how much time she had missed, Stock photos of the man, and some Iron Man footage. It was not very good, to put it lightly. 

After the short slideshow ended, the press conference in which Stark’s death was formally announced appeared on the screen. 

Captain America stood front and center as the video began to play. “...Tony saw the gauntlet, saw the stones, and he saved the universe. Instead of letting Thanos snap everyone back, he snapped Thanos’s army away, and... and died from the sheer power of the stones.” Captain America exhaled sharply and Pepper Potts stepped up to the microphone. 

“He will be greatly missed. I know that I’ll miss him, I know that his team will miss him. I know that I’ll try to move on, but I also know that I won’t. Tony Stark was one of a kind.” 

Avery leaned back in her chair and yawned slightly as Betty began to recite some poem, and a few more minutes passed. Apparently, Carol was a vet, and Avery was wondering if she should offer her psychological services when there was a knock at the door, and Avery quickly put her phone down. 

“Come in,” she said, logging off of the live feed. 

She didn’t know what she had been expecting, but it wasn’t a tear-streaked Peter Parker being escorted by Jim. 

“Peter, here, seems to have been affected by the moving tribute,” Jim explained, looking pitifully at Peter, who rolled his eyes. 

“Alright, I can talk to him.” 

“Just one moment,” Jim said. “Peter, could you wait outside for a second?” Peter sighed, but left the room, and Jim clasped his hands together. “Peter has claimed, in the past, to have an internship at Stark Industries. Now, I’m no psychologist, but I would guess that that may have something to do with his extreme reaction.” 

“‘Claimed?’” 

“Yes, well, Stark Industries doesn’t accept high school interns, as you may know.” 

Avery furrowed her brow. Peter, from what she had gathered during their session, didn’t seem like the type to lie about something like that, and he was also an apparent genius, from what his records showed. “Very well,” Avery said. 

Jim gave her a tight-lipped smile and exited, and Peter appeared in his place. 

“So, Peter,” Avery began cautiously as he readjusted himself in the beanbag. “Principal Morita told me that you have an internship at Stark Industries?” 

Peter nodded, picking at a thread on his jeans. “I’m guessing you don’t believe me. No one does.” 

“I believe you,” Avery said. “Did you know Mr. Stark personally?” 

A small smile pricked at his lips at the mention of the man. “Y-Yeah. I’m - uh, I was – actually his, uh, personal intern?” 

“I’m sorry,” Avery said, because, Jesus, how many people was this poor boy going to lose? 

Peter wiped at his eyes and his gaze landed on her sweatshirt, and he let out a small giggle. “He had so much Iron Man merch.” 

“Is that so?” 

“Yeah. He’s never really had a, well, good opinion about himself, so Ms. Potts would buy him Iron Man clothes all the time, to try to get him to see that he’s a hero.” Peter’s shiny eyes brightened while recounting this story. 

“I’m sorry for your loss, Peter.” 

Peter shrugged. “It was my fault.” 

“No, it wasn’t. It wasn’t your fault and it wasn’t his. It was purely Thanos’s fault.” 

Peter stared at her icily. “You know, I was supposed to be on the plane that my parents crashed on. I had gotten sick in the end, so I stayed with my aunt and uncle instead. I could have stopped the mugger that shot my uncle, but instead, when he did the right thing, he was killed. My aunt got cancer and I wasn’t even there for her. And then I couldn’t stop Mr. Stark from using the stones, couldn’t stop him – couldn’t -” 

Avery was extremely tempted to say, “Now, we don’t have time to unpack all that,” but Peter’s eyes were wide with panic and he was hyperventilating, so she really didn’t, in fact, have time to unpack any of it. 

“Peter, I need you to breathe. In – 4 – Out – 4. In – 4 – Out – 4.” 

But the boy wasn’t listening. His watch began to beep, and then it began to speak. “Peter, your heart rate has skyrocketed. According to Baby Monitor Protocol Sub-Section 24.E, I am required to alert Boss.” 

Based on what Watch Lady had said, Avery figured Peter tended to protest whatever the fuck ‘Baby Monitor Protocol’ was, but he was incredibly out of it, and could barely even get enough air in to stutter out a few words. 

Avery tried to get him to breathe, tried all the tricks in the book, but nothing worked until a man with a cap pulled down over his eyes busted in, and Peter visibly relaxed . 

The man crouched down next to Peter. 

“Hey, Pete, I need you to breathe for me, can you do that?” The man put Peter’s hand on the man’s chest and guided Peter’s other hand to his own chest. 

“C-Can’t -” Peter managed, tears streaming down his face. 

“I’m right here, Roo, I promise that I’m okay.” 

Avery felt that she was intruding on an incredibly private moment, but she was also fascinated by the exchange, and made no move to stop watching and listening. 

After a few more minutes of the man calming Peter down, Peter finally slumped against the wall, exhausted, but breathing normally. 

The man lifted his cap and sunglasses off and rubbed the back of his hand against his eyes, as he ran his fingers through Peter’s curls. 

Avery’s mind short-circuited. That was Tony Stark, who was dead, who did not have such a gentle touch with children, who did not like children, who did not - 

“Okay now, Bambino?” 

Peter rubbed at his red-rimmed eyes. “I couldn’t stop you,” he muttered, pulling himself closer to Tony. 

“I’m sorry that I did it, Pete, but I needed to. I’m all retired now, and I promise that I’m not going any time soon, okay?” 

Peter nodded into Tony’s shoulder. “Can we go?” He muttered, sniffling softly. 

Tony turned his attention to Avery, who had ignored the recent texts from Carol to watch whatever the fuck she was watching. “I know you probably have a lot of questions, but I just want to get Pete home right now, if that’s okay?” 

“O-Of course, Mr. Stark!” 

“And the reason the public thinks I’m dead is for safety reasons, mainly to protect Pete and Morgan. I trust that this information won’t get out?” 

“Of course,” Avery repeated, and Tony flashed her a fake smile, put his ‘disguise’ back on, and helped Peter out of the room. 

\--- 

A few days later, it was time for Peter’s second session, and he appeared in the doorway almost sheepishly. She would be lying if she didn’t say that the only thing she was more curious about than this Peter Parker Mystery was literally anything about Carol. 

Anyway. 

Peter threw himself onto the beanbag chair and bit his lip. “So, uh, yeah.” 

“Tony Stark was the family friend that adopted you, I presume?” 

“Y-Yeah. It’s - we met during my internship, and I guess he liked me?” Peter’s gaze wandered out the window. “Do you remember anything about the Snap?” 

Well, that was a random question. “I remember disappearing and reappearing, vaguely. Why?” 

“I felt my body pulling itself apart and trying to stitch itself back together.” 

Um. 

“It really hurt.” 

“Do you know why that may have happened?” 

Peter sighed and nodded. “Medical condition.” 

Ah, yes, that explained everything. Avery internally rolled her eyes as Peter suddenly went rigid, his eyes seemingly searching for a threat. 

And then Avery began smelling smoke and hearing sirens. 

“Fuck - Dr. Brown, I really need to go!” 

“Peter -” 

“Just, I – please.” 

“I’m sorry, Peter, but -” 

Peter groaned loudly, tapped his watch, and Spider-Man's suit engulfed him. And then he swung away. 

As Avery tried to make sense of watch she had just seen – of what she had just learned – she saw that Carol had responded to her request of a selfie for her profile picture. Avery had met Carol very briefly, and at the time, the woman had been wearing Aviator glasses and a baseball cap, so she really didn’t know what Carol looked like. 

Eagerly, Avery pulled up the photo, and promptly threw her phone across the room. 

Carol – her Carol – was Captain fucking Marvel? 

Honestly, with the way her life was going now, that tracked. 

Unfortunately. 

Now, the real question is, is Captain Marvel into cottagecore? 


	16. "it's alright, underoos."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tony is kidnapped and assumed to be dead, but peter is(n't) totally okay!  
> disclaimer: i do not own the mcu, nor the characters that i use in this fic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello there, you lovely readers! this was idea #1 i posted on my a/n. i was going to make tony's section longer for more angst, but i decided that since this was just a one-shot, i would take pity on my poor heart. im so bad at writing angst im s o r r y  
> also, i know nothing about coding or medical shit. i have no idea what i was talking about for the ai thing, sorry for any inaccuracies, and i also apologize if my medical timeline was way off, i guess they gave him pretty heavy drugs or something?? i dunno :)  
> sorry that updates haven't been so consistent, and thanks for sticking with me!  
> enjoy!

**peter.**

Peter grinned as he flew through the air, letting the feeling of web-slinging overtake him. 

“Hey, Karen, can you put a call through to Mr. Stark?” 

“Calling Boss.” 

The phone rang. And rang. And rang. And went to voicemail. 

Peter furrowed his brow. Tony never sent his calls to voicemail. Sure, he always let it ring a few times, but that was just for his ego. Something was up. 

“Can you call Mrs. Potts?” Peter asked, perplexed. 

“Calling Mrs. Potts.” 

After two rings, Pepper picked up. “Peter?” 

“Hi, Mrs. Potts, is everything okay with Mr. Stark?” 

“FRIDAY, where’s Tony?” 

“Boss is not on the premises. I do not believe that he left willingly.” 

Peter’s stomach dropped. 

“W-What do you mean, FRIDAY,” Pepper asked, her voice shaking slightly. 

“According to my data, I believe that the Ten Rings have kidnapped Boss once again.” 

Peter dropped his web and the call ended. 

\-- 

_Two weeks later..._

\-- 

Peter hadn’t been sleeping. His mentor - no, his _father –_ had been kidnapped, and was probably being tortured while Peter was sitting in calculus class. How was that fair? 

Sure, calculus was a special kind of torture, but... all Peter wanted was a hug from Tony. To inhale his motor oil-y musk and hear the words, ‘it’s alright, Underoos.’ That was all. 

He had stopped Spider-Manning as well, electing instead to scour classified files for any clue as to where Tony could be. Pepper told him the Avengers, SHIELD, and the FBI were on it. May told him that Tony would want him to stay healthy. Peter didn’t listen. 

And, yeah, he was falling apart, but he was still walking, eating, drinking – _living,_ somehow. That would have to be enough. That was _fine._ ( _He was fine_.) 

At least, until The Call. 

“Peter,” Pepper said, her voice cracking. Peter could hear the tears slipping down her cheek, hear her heartbeat pounding faster than normal. 

“No,” Peter whispered. “No, please – Mrs. Potts, please tell me he’s okay.” 

“Peter, they found a body.” 

And Peter broke. 

He slammed his finger onto the END CALL button and hurled his phone at his bedroom wall, his body wracked with painful sobs that climbed up his throat. He could barely swallow, barely see, barely comprehend the fact that Tony was _dead_. 

Tony was dead, and he didn’t even know what that meant for him. Did he lose his mentor? A friend? Or did he let his third father slip through his fingers? 

Tony was dead, and he would never get to learn which one of those options fit. 

\-- 

The funeral was on a Wednesday, by the lake house. 

All of the Avengers had been there. Pepper had been there. Happy had been there. 

And here Peter was, just a random teen from Queens, at Tony Stark’s funeral. Why him? What did Peter ever do to deserve to know Tony? 

(What did Tony ever do to deserve to die?) 

Peter wasn’t a stranger to funerals, but each one seemed to hurt more than the last. 

When he was four years old, he didn’t know death. His parents were gone, but each morning he seemed to forget, seemed to expect to wake up to his mother’s embrace and his father’s grin. And then eventually, he forgot what even those felt like. 

When he was thirteen, he still smelled the blood. The blood of Uncle Ben on his hands, under his fingernails, threaded into his skin. Peter made it three minutes before he broke down, three minutes before it sunk in that Ben was gone forever. 

And now, he was sixteen, and he didn’t even get to say goodbye. Didn’t even remember the last word he said to Tony, or the last word Tony said to him, or the last time Tony called him ‘Pete.’ If he concentrated hard enough, he could conjure up Tony’s smell, but how long until that faded away, too? 

Peter set a bouquet of red and yellow roses by the small grave, alongside the arc reactor with the words: ‘Proof Tony Stark has a heart,’ the red and yellow reminding him of Iron Man. What good was being a superhero if you can’t even save yourself? 

Bile rose in Peter’s throat at the thought of Tony being gone – forever – but he swallowed it down and stared at the roses. 

\-- 

**tony.**

Tony groaned as he regained consciousness, rubbing his head from where they had knocked him out. Ah, fuck, he was supposed to have a Lab Day with the kid today. Hopefully they could finish this whole shebang quickly enough. 

“Hello, Stark,” a man said, stepping out from the darkness. 

“Mm. How long was I out for?” 

“Well, you drifted in and out of consciousness for two weeks. You were quite delirious, calling out for ‘Pep.’ Too bad you’ll never see her again.” The man flashed a toothy grin. 

“I’m pretty sure people will notice that Tony Stark is missing,” Tony said, rolling his eyes and adjusting to the most comfortable position one could get to when one is handcuffed to a wall. 

“Oh yes, they did,” the man said, smiling maliciously. “The funeral was quite quaint and beautiful.” 

“Funeral?” 

At this, the man cackled and snapped his fingers. A few of his henchman rolled an old television set into the cell and plugged the cord into the outlet, before putting in a DVD. 

“Two weeks after going missing, the body of Tony Stark, better known as Iron Man or the owner of Stark Industries, has been found,” a reporter said, and a clip of Pepper popped onto the screen, but the man unplugged the TV. 

“Can - can I just see her, one last time?” 

The man pretended to consider this, and then wheeled the television back out, before slamming the cell door shut. 

\-- 

It had been a month. Tony had been keeping track of the days on the cell wall. Every other hour he was forced to create weapons of mass destruction for the Ten Rings, and every _other_ hour, he was tortured. 

But he was Tony Stark. Did they really think they were getting away with this?” 

Over the two weeks, Tony had been working on a elementary AI while pretending to design new weapons. All that the AI needed to accomplish was to get in touch with FRIDAY and have her send a few Iron Suits to his location. 

And, finally, he did it. 

“Testing, ETHEL, can you locate the AI FRIDAY?” Tony plugged in Avengers Tower’s address. 

ETHEL didn’t have a voice function, but her response quickly appeared on the screen: I HAVE CONTACTED FRIDAY. 

“Yes, yes, _yes!_ Tell her to send five suits to your location, verify code V-P-P-P-B-P.” 

The response was the most beautiful thing Tony had seen in a long time: REQUEST VERIFIED. ETA 30 MINUTES. 

And Tony breathed for the first time in what felt like forever. 

\-- 

**peter.**

Four weeks ago, the world lost its protector. 

Four weeks ago, Queens’s vigilante stopped patrolling. 

Four weeks ago, Peter broke. 

Peter felt numb. Utterly and totally numb. Ned, MJ, and May tried to get him to open up, but all he would do is stare at them, trying to escape his reality. 

“Hey, man!” Ned said as Peter entered Midtown’s hallways. 

Peter didn’t respond. He couldn’t even bear to open his mouth. Ned’s face fell for a moment, but he had gotten used to the absence of responses from Peter, so he pretended as though it didn’t crush him to see his friend dying from the inside-out, and plastered on another fake grin. 

“We have that chem test today. I studied for _ages,_ man, Ms. Warren’s class is fucking insane.” 

No response. 

Ned sighed and made his way to class, a ghost of Peter following him. 

\-- 

**tony.**

“Hey, what the fuck?” Tony heard, and he let a giant smile overtake his face. He was going back! He was going to get to hold Pepper, hold Peter, he was going to be _okay_. 

Sure enough, after only a few seconds, an Iron Suit opened for Tony to step into, and he did so. 

“Boss!” FRIDAY exclaimed. “It is good to see you again.” 

“God, I missed you, FRI,” Tony said, blasting his way out of his prison. 

“Where to, Boss?” 

Tony didn’t respond, didn’t care. All that mattered was soaking up the taste of freedom, relishing in the way the familiar metal encompassed his skin, rejoicing in the knowledge that everything was as it should be. Soon enough, he found himself outside a very familiar high school. 

And in that moment, he didn’t care about the consequences. He didn’t care about the vultures, the past, the future. All that mattered was the fact that _his kid_ was in there, his kid who thought he was _dead_. Oh, no. That wouldn’t do at all. 

\-- 

**peter.**

Peter gripped his pencil so hard that it snapped in two. Did it matter, though? Did this chem test matter in the grand scheme of things? And – goddammit – it needed to stop! It – everything – needed to stop, because Peter was sure that he could hear Iron Man’s thrusters, as sure as the fact that he could hear Flash snoring in the next classroom over, but Iron Man was dead. Everything needed to stop. 

After trying to finish the test with half of a pencil, Peter relented and decided to hand it in unfinished. It didn’t matter, anyway, and why did the thrusters sound like they were getting closer? 

Peter gazed out the window and his eyes widened like saucers. No. He – that wasn’t real. He was actually going insane, because Iron Man was definitely not flying directly into his chemistry class’s window and – oh, the broken glass on the floor certainly disputed that fact. 

His jaw dropped open. 

Tony receded from the suit. 

And everyone was staring, but Peter didn’t care because Tony was _alive_. There would be more Lab Days, more Iron Man and Spider-Man team-ups, more movie nights, more dad jokes, there would be more Tony. 

Peter ran into Tony’s open arms and clutched him like a lifeline, sobbing into the worn shirt that Tony was wearing. 

“Y-Y-You're dead,” Peter exclaimed, completely oblivious to the gaping class surrounding them. 

“I’m right here, Pete, I promise.” 

“Please don’t make me wake up. Please, Mr. Stark, please, Dad.” 

Tony clutched Peter closer to him and buried his face in Peter’s curls. “This isn’t a dream, bambino, I promise you.” Tony took Peter’s hand off of his back and gave it three squeezes. “Do you feel that? Do you feel me? I’m alive, kiddo, it was the Ten Rings, they planted that body. I’m alive.” 

Peter threw himself back at Tony, burying his head in the crook of the man’s neck. “Never again,” Peter whispered in between his sobs. “Y-You can’t fucking do that to me, okay?” 

Tony nodded and pressed a kiss to Peter’s forehead. “It’s alright, Underoos.” 

And in that moment, it was. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ETHEL stands for: Escape This Hellish Evil Lair (this took me way too long to come up with)  
> V-P-P-P-B-P is for Virginia 'Pepper' Potts, Peter Benjamin Parker.  
> hope you enjoyed <3


	17. "it's alright, underoos." pt. 2.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the aftermath, as seen through social media.  
> disclaimer: i do not own the mcu, nor the characters that i use in this fic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i lied, this is a two-shot.  
> im sorry this part is a hot mess, i finished the draft for last chapter and realized that there wasn't really any identity reveal, so i wrote this quickly because i just wanted to post something.

**baberaham** **lincoln** **-** **_@abebrown__ **

** > rip tony stark - ** **_@tonystarkstan_ **

@abebrown_ excuse me what the fuck 

** >> ** **baberaham** **lincoln** **-** **_@abebrown__ **

i said what i said 

**its betty bitch -** **_@bettybrant__ **

??? 

**Tony Stark -** **_@misterstark_ **

im baaaack! did you miss me? 

**Pepper Potts -** **_@StarkCEO_ **

Tony. Are you kidding me? I find out that you’re alive through a Twitter post? 

** > Tony Stark - ** **_@misterstark_ **

im sorry pep the kid’s classmates were taking pictures of me so i figured might as well post one myself 

** >> Pepper Potts - ** **_@StarkCEO_ **

This is a public platform, Tony. 

** >>> Tony Stark - ** **_@misterstark_ **

its okay ms potts, im just really happy that mr stark is alive!!!!1!!1!! - pbp 

** > may-bee - ** **_@mayparker__ **

I am going to kill you and then resurrect you again for Peter. 

** >> Tony Stark - ** **_@misterstark_ **

may!!! he didn’t mean to get kidnapped!!!! and hes okay now!!! -pbp 

**TONY STARK LIVES -** **_@ironmanisthebest_ **

what the fuck is going on 

**ned** **in the chair -** **_@nedleeds__ **

#irondad 

**peter with a b**

@peterbparker_ 

24 following 53.7k followers 

bio: god hasn’t abandoned this timeline after all 

**peter with a b -** **_@peterbparker_ **

what the fuck???? how did so many people find my account already??? 

** > Tony Stark - ** **_@misterstark_ **

people are way too invested in my personal life. need me to get them off your back, pete? 

** >> peter with a b - ** **_@peterbparker_ **

it’s okay, mr stark!!!!!!!!!!!! 

**conspiracy theories -** **_@conspiracy_theory_account_ **

OK OK BUT – this peter kid is really tony stark’s son 

**ned** **in the chair -** **_@nedleeds__ **

** > peter with a b - ** **_@peterbparker_ **

you too, nedward? 

** >> ** **ned** **in the chair -** **_@nedleeds__ **

🔁 Tony Stark retweeted 

**ned** **in the chair -** **_@nedleeds__ **

** > peter with a b - ** **_@peterbparker_ **

FHAKLJHFKJAH MR STANK 

**peter with a b -** **_@peterbparker_ **

fine. 

**peter with a b -** **_@peterbparker_ **

**Tony Stark -** **_@misterstark_ **

**Buzzfeed News -** **_@Buzzfeed_News_ **

Tony Stark is a Dad and We Love It! 

**Huffington Post -** **_@thehuffingtonpost_ **

Tony Stark Lives! 

**The New York Times -** **_@TheNewYorkTimes_ **

A Future Stark Heir? 

**peter with a b -** **_@peterbparker_ **

ok fuck everything i thought mr stark was dead for a month. im tired of hiding. 

im spider-man yall 

**spooder** **-man -** **_@spider_man_ **

can confirm that i am indeed peter benjamin parker 

** > Tony Stark - ** **_@misterstark_ **

I first met Peter as Spider-Man, but our relationship is so much more than that at this point. 

[adoptionpapers.pdf] 

** > peter with a b - ** **_@peterbparker_ **

e x c u s e m e w h a t t h e f u c k 

(did you really feel the need to upstage me?)

** > may-bee - ** **_@mayparker__ **

this is not the way we agreed on telling him, tony. 

**i** **speak for the trees -** **_@theactuallorax_ **

im sorry what the hell just happened 

**not a bot -** **_@notatwitterbot_ **

,,,,,,,,,, what is happening? 

**peter with a b -** **_@peterbparker_ **

WELL I THINK THAT’S ENOUGH SOCIAL MEDIA FOR TODAY 


	18. ~connections.~

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> peter + his class go on a field trip to stark industries, but the avengers do not know who peter is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow. it’s the one-month anniversary of this fic. i - can’t even believe how much support this has gotten. you guys are actually the best. :) 
> 
> i hope you enjoy this update - #5 from my a/n, where peter goes on a field trip to stark industries and the avengers do not know that he is spider-man. 
> 
> as always, if you have any prompts or requests, feel free to comment!! 
> 
> enjoy!! <3

Peter groaned as he trudged into Mr. Harrington’s class. MJ was already there, which wasn’t surprising. If Peter didn’t know her better, he would think that she could teleport. Which, she couldn’t...right? 

Brushing the thought out of his head, he gave her a small wave, to which she flipped him off without looking up from her book. A few seconds later, Ned entered the class, and immediately began rambling about his latest Star Wars theory, and Peter listened in a happy silence. 

The day had been going very well so far. Too well, if Peter knew his Parker Luck. Especially because his spidey-senses were beginning to buzz faintly in the back of his head. 

A few minutes later, Mr. Harrington opened the door, muttering something into his coffee mug about Tabitha, before perking up as he caught a glance of something on his desk. The bell rang, and Mr. Harrington motioned for the class to get ready. 

“Everyone,” he said, grinning. “I have a surprise.” 

“Did you get back together with Tabitha?” Betty asked. 

Mr. Harrington’s smile momentarily fell. “Well, no. She, uh, actually came by to get the T.V today. But, anyway, thanks to your outstanding performance on the standardized test you recently took, we have been invited to Avengers Tower for a tour tomorrow!" 

The class immediately went wild, cheering over Mr. Harrington’s feeble attempt to ask that everyone maintain their best behavior. Peter, meanwhile, was internally freaking out. 

“Ned!” He hissed. “I can’t go!” 

“Why not?” 

“I _know_ the Avengers. You know, from my time on the web?” 

Ned’s face immediately fell with understanding. “We probably won’t seem them, bro, I think they have better things to do than bother with a tour group of nerdy teenagers.” 

As Sally distributed the NDAs and permission slips, Peter nervously bit the inside of his cheek. He wouldn’t be able to “forget” to ask May to sign it, because May knew everything and she would remind him to hand it over to her. And if he told her that he didn’t want to go, she would immediately suspect something, as Peter had idolized Tony Stark (and his company, in more recent years) since before he could even walk. 

Goddamn it. 

Hopefully Ned would be right. 

“Oh, and one more thing!” Mr. Harrington said, bouncing on the tips of his toes. “Because of my, well, ~connections~, we will be getting to check out Dr. Bruce Banner’s personal lab!” 

The room fell silent for a moment. Then, 

“Holy fucking shit!” 

_“CONNECTIONS?!”_

"I’m going to meet Dr. Bruce Banner!” 

Peter couldn’t help but feel excited, as well. That was _Bruce Banner_ that Mr. Harrington was talking about. _7-PHD-Gamma-Radiation-Genius-Dr.-Bruce-Banner!_ Besides, he had only met The Hulk twice before. The first time, The Hulk had vowed to protect him while they were fighting evil robots, and the second time, Peter had gotten to yeet The Hulk into a bunch of aliens. It had been awesome. 

But Dr. Banner and The Hulk were two separate beings, so everything should be fine! And it wasn’t like The Hulk knew his identity... it would be fine. Everything would be completely, totally, 100% fine. 

(Right?) 

\-- 

That night, Peter went out as Spider-Man. 

Thankfully, there were no world-ending disasters that required the presence of the Avengers, so Spider-Man wouldn’t be on anyone’s mind in the event that he did meet them. 

Patrol was relatively quiet until one scream at midnight. Peter swung over to the sound and found at least six gunmen cornering a shaking teenager, who had put their hands up placatingly. 

The six perpetrators were: Beard Guy, Tattoo Dude, Scary Eyebrow Lady, Bright Pink Hair, Has Too Many Piercings, and Needs a Breath Mint. 

“I’m telling you; my name is Stone. I’m not Andrew. I have no idea what you want from me.” 

“Shut up, where’s our fucking money? If you don’t stop lying, I’ll put a bullet through your brain,” Tattoo Dude said. 

Peter immediately swooped down and webbed away Tattoo Dude’s gun, breaking it in half with his bare hands. “This isn’t a fair fight,” Peter said, webbing away Bright Pink Hair and Beard Guy’s guns. 

Scary Eyebrow Lady fired two shots off at Peter, but he dodged them with ease, webbing her gun away, too. After a few minutes, Peter had taken all of the guns out of commission, and Needs a Breath Mint was the only criminal not webbed to the wall. 

As Peter attempted to stick her next to her buddies, she pulled a gun out from her belt and threw it at the teenager, who had been filming Peter. In a split second, Peter secured Needs a Breath Mint to the wall, and pushed the teenager out of the way, the knife inserting itself in his shoulder blade. 

Yay. 

“Ah, shit,” Peter muttered, gingerly touching his wound and hissing. The teenager he had saved stood up, dusted off their knees, and gaped. 

“Holy fuck – I – I'm so sorry, Mr. Spider-Man, I have no clue what just happened. I mean, I know an Andrew? But he’s a really nice guy, and I don’t think -” 

“Hey, it’s fine – Stone, did you say your name was?” Stone nodded. “Yeah, I get stabbed all the time, I’ll be okay by tomorrow, hopefully. Hurts like a bitch, but no harm done.” 

Stone bit their lip and nodded. “Can I help you? With anything?” 

“Seriously, it’s completely fi-” Peter winced as he pulled out the knife and threw a web over his wound. “Fine. Completely fine.” 

“Are you sure that’s healthy? I mean, won’t it get infected?” 

Peter glanced at the web. “Uh, I don’t think so? I’ve been doing this for a while, and it’s always been fine, so...” 

Stone raised an eyebrow and shook their head silently. 

“Anyway, can I help you get home?” 

“No, thanks anyway. If my mom found out what happened, I would be on house arrest for the rest of my life. She’s a bit overprotective,” Stone added with a small laugh. 

Peter nodded. “Well, get home safe!” 

With that, Peter swung away, nursing his injured shoulder and hoping that it would heal up quickly. 

\-- 

For once, his wish came true. The next morning, the web had dissolved, leaving a healed-enough stab wound. He would have to be careful with it, but as long as he didn’t do anything too strenuous, he should be fine. 

Except, would he be fine? 

The field trip. 

Fuck everything. 

Groaning, Peter headed to the kitchen, where he saw the forms already signed by May, set in a folder by his bag. May thought of everything, didn’t she? Alongside the folder was a letter: 

_Early shift today. Enjoy your trip!_

_\- May_

There was no avoiding it. Peter internally cursed himself as he set the forms in his bag, grabbed a protein bar, and went to school. 

\-- 

“Mr. Harrington’s third-period chemistry class, please make your way to the auditorium for your field trip, Mr. Harrington’s third-period chemistry class, to the auditorium,” the PA crackled. 

Against his wishes, Peter listened to the PA, and handed over the forms to his giddy teacher. 

“This is going to be _awesome_!” Ned exclaimed. Peter gave a half-hearted grin in response as MJ walked up to the pair. 

“What are you nervous for, Peter?” MJ asked with a small smirk on her face. 

Peter blanched. 

“Does it have anything to do with -” she changed her voice to a whisper- “the fact that you can walk on walls?” 

As Peter gaped and started to panic, MJ cackled and walked over to the front of the group. 

“W-Wh-How?” Peter finally managed, staring at MJ, who appeared to be sketching him in her Crisis Notebook. 

Ned gave Peter an apologetic smile. “Dude, you really suck at secret identities. The real question is how more people don’t know.” 

Peter looked down at the ground dejectedly. It was true, but that was most certainly not what he wanted to hear today, of all days. 

“Alright, everyone, please make an orderly line,” Mr. Harrington said, desperately trying to reign the excited students. 

Somehow, everyone eventually got on the bus, and the bus driver began driving to Avengers Tower. Everyone except Peter was buzzing with excitement. Peter was just bouncing his leg nervously. 

They arrived soon enough. 

Mr. Harrington attempted to herd his students, once again, and failed, once again. Everyone eagerly followed each other into the lobby. 

Peter was silent for a while, soaking up the beauty of the lobby. Everything was so incredibly gorgeous, fancy, pristine, that Peter couldn’t help but feel as though he was out of place. But he set those thoughts aside as a tour guide came bouncing towards them, introducing herself as Cassidy. 

“Now, you all need badges.” Cassidy reached into the basket she was holding and distributed a thick white card to each student, with a bold V marked on each card. 

“The V is for Visitor,” Cassidy explained. “We also have Level 1 white passes for press and delivery guys, who will have a P or a D, respectively. I’m Level 3, so I have a yellow card. The security is definitely not the most interesting part of this building, so I’m guessing I can skip over all of that and take you straight to your first stop?” 

A very loud cheer was her answer. 

“Great! Our first stop will be Lab #64. We’ll be looking at Stark Phone through the ages, and we’ll run through a basic coding lesson. Let’s go!” 

Peter grinned as he followed Cassidy, letting his love for science overtake him. 

\-- 

The lab was amazing. Peter had already known everything they were teaching about coding, so instead of listening, he soaked in the atmosphere. A very distraught intern was writing on a dry-erase board, attempting to solve an equation. 

Peter glanced at Cassidy and Mr. Harrington, who both seemed to preoccupied to notice him, and he snuck away from the group and up to the intern, who did not look happy at the prospect of talking to a student on the tour guide. 

“H-Hello, sir, I’m sorry for bothering you, but I think if you changed the coefficient to 2 over there, and switched out that formula with a more basic compound, you may have better luck?” 

The intern rolled his eyes and said, “You should be with your tour, kid.” 

“I-I know, but I noticed the board and I thought I could he-” 

“Holy shit,” the intern muttered. “You’re - you’re right.” 

Peter stared at the ground, a bit embarrassed. 

The intern quickly fixed the formula and shot Peter a grateful smile. “Thanks, kid, seriously. I have no idea how you did that, but I’m sure that SI would be lucky to have you when you’re old enough.” 

Beaming, Peter nodded and slipped back into the group, feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. 

\-- 

After visiting a few more labs, Cassidy announced that they would be heading to Dr. Banner’s personal lab now. 

Mr. Harrington proudly boasted that he had contacted Dr. Banner when he found out they had been accepted for the tour, and that Dr. Banner had offered this great privilege for them. 

Peter was still very confused with how Mr. Harrington knew THE Dr. Bruce Banner and why he had never brought it up before, but he was much more excited about getting to _visit the man’s lab_! 

“We’re here!” Cassidy chirped as Dr. Banner looked up. 

“Ah, is this Roger Harrington’s tour group?” 

Mr. Harrington positively lit up when Dr. Banner called his name, and the entire class nodded in unison. 

“Great. My name is Dr. Bruce Banner, you may know me as The Hulk, and, well, this is my lab.” 

Dr. Banner began showing them around, and discussing various projects he was working on. Dr. Banner was about to demonstrate a chemical reaction when Peter’s spidey-sense went off and, instinctively, he stopped Dr. Banner’s hand from pouring the chemical. 

Dr. Banner furrowed his brow, and then his eyes widened when he read the label. “Holy shit, I need to sleep. This would have blown us all up.” Dr. Banner looked up at Peter. “What’s your name, kid?” 

“O-Oh, I’m, well, uh, I’m Peter?” 

“Nice to meet you, Peter, I’m Bruce.” Dr. Banner rubbed his eyes and sighed heavily. “I think I’m about to collapse, so why don’t you all head to Training Room 2? Some Avengers are training there right now, and Clint loves having an audience.” Bruce chuckled softly and the entire class began buzzing. 

As Peter followed everyone out, his spidey-sense warned him that Dr. Banner was watching him. Great. 

\-- 

Cassidy took them down to the Training Room, where Clint and Natasha were sparring. 

Clint was very much losing. 

After Natasha forced him to tap out, the two assassins walked toward the tour group. 

“I’m Natasha, better known as the Black Widow,” Natasha said. “This is Clint, also known as Hawkeye. Do you have any questions for us?” 

“Mr. Barton Hawkeye, sir?” Abe asked, raising his hand cautiously. “What do you do once you run out of arrows?” 

Natasha smirked while Clint pouted. “Next question.” 

There were various questions about the dynamic of the Avengers, specific missions, and in MJ’s case, going on a rant about how amazing she thought Natasha was. That had shocked the entire class. 

A few minutes into the mini-Q&A session, Captain America entered the room. 

“Hey, Cap, we’re hanging out with this tour group,” Clint said, gesturing to Cassidy. 

Cap nodded. “How about we teach these youngsters some self-defense?” 

Peter stilled. Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no. This Was Not A Good Situation. 

Natasha smirked as Steve divided the students into three different groups, the first group was to train with Clint, the second with Natasha, and the third with him. 

Peter was sorted into the third group, along with Ned. The latter was quite excited about this development. The former was not. 

“Ned!” Peter whisper-shouted. “What if he notices?” 

“It’ll be fine, bro, just hold back, like with Flash.” 

Peter fidgeted, but tried to believe Ned’s words. It wouldn’t be like Flash, though, would it? Because he knew that Flash wasn’t a threat, his spidey-sense knew that Flash wasn’t a threat, but Captain America? Completely different story. 

Captain America had taught a few different positions, and he was now sparring with Flash, who was at the front of the group. Everyone was taken down very quickly, until it was Peter’s turn. 

“Alright, kid,” Steve said, putting his fists up in an offensive position. Peter inwardly scoffed. Steve was giving him a clear opening for a punch. 

Peter took the opening, his punch so soft it was more like a tap, and Steve immediately attempted to flip him on his back. Unfortunately, Peter’s spidey-sense had other plans, and on instinct, he did a backflip over Steve’s body. 

“Nice moves,” Steve said, looking impressed. The man lunged for Peter, but he stepped out of the way. The fight continued like this, Steve’s attempts getting more and more advanced, and Peter’s dodges more and more impressive. 

Eventually, Peter went on auto-pilot and flipped Steve on his back, holding him down with all of his strength. Looking bewildered, Steve tapped out, and then he gaped, looking at Peter’s shoulder. 

Clint smirked once he saw Steve on the ground, and then said, “Holy shit, kid, you’re bleeding! What did you do to him, Steve?” 

Bleeding? Peter looked down and cursed softly. His wound from last night had opened up. 

“How the hell did you do that?” Steve asked, getting up shakily. 

“I’ll take him to the Med Bay,” said Nat, as Peter’s class gawked. 

“O-Okay,” Peter said shakily, leaving the training room with Nat. 

Once they were out of everyone’s sight, Natasha smirked. “So, Spider-Man,” she began, Peter’s face falling as he realized what she had said. 

“I-I-I-” 

“Save it,” she snorted. “I’ll keep this to myself, but I can’t guarantee that Steve won’t figure it out.” 

Peter nodded and gave Natasha a grin. “Thank you, Ms. Natasha Romanov Black Widow, Ma’am.” 

“Nat. Let me see the wound.” 

Peter lifted up his shirt and she glanced at the already-healing hole in Peter. “I heal fast,” he explained, and Nat nodded in understanding, before taking Peter’s phone, typing something, and handed it over. 

“If you ever need help. Us spiders need to stick together.” And with that, Natasha walked away, and Peter gaped as he saw his phone screen. 

Had Natasha Romanov just given him her number? 

She had, apparently. 

What. The. Fuck. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sdghfjkhgfdsdfghjk i couldn’t resist naming my nonbinary character stone. it was originally sock.


	19. the spider-man fan club.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> after a tough patrol, ned knows how to cheer his best friend up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> am i???? hallucinating? over 11,000 hits? 730 kudos?? 100 bookmarks???????  
> thank,,,, for reading,,,,,,,, i dont even know what to say, but,,, ,, wow. 
> 
> also! im going to start writing some of the prompts from the comments! feel free to comment any more!
> 
> i have no idea what happened with this, it's pretty ned-centric because im love him. 
> 
> tw: gunshot wounds

“Help!” 

The young voice pierced Peter’s heart, and he ran into the alleyway to search for the voice. 

“Help!” 

A man was pointing a gun at a boy, no older than eight, and tears were streaming down his face. “Spider-Man!” He cheered. 

“This doesn’t concern you,” the man with the gun spat out, pressing the gun against the little boy’s temple, bringing a whimper from the boy’s mouth. 

“Actually,” Peter began to say, but he was cut off by his spidey-sense alerting him to danger. 

The man cocked the gun and fired. 

Every cell in Peter’s body was screaming: **_no_ ** **_no_ ** **** **_no_ ** **** **_no_ ** **** **_no_ ** **_!_ **And he pushed the boy away from the bullet, webbing the man to the wall. But he hadn’t been quick enough. 

The bullet had grazed the boy’s chest, and he was now sobbing into Peter’s arms, begging for his parents. 

“Karen!” Peter screamed frantically, the sound of the gunshot and the smell of the blood causing tears to prick at his eyes. “Get 911 here, now!” 

Logically, Peter knew that the boy was in no mortal danger. 

But fear is hardly logical, and Peter felt as though he had stopped breathing until the doctor exited the boy, Charlie’s, room. 

“He’ll live,” the doctor said. “And he’ll be okay. He'll probably have some trauma and a lasting scar, but you saved him, Spider-Man.” 

Did he? Did he really? 

If he had tried harder, swung faster, came earlier, six-year-old Charlie wouldn’t be haunted by nightmares of the deafening shot, the blood, blood, blood, blood. Peter claimed to be a hero, to look out for the little guy, but here was Charlie, a, very literally, little guy, who Peter had barely managed to save. 

Needless to say, Peter didn’t get much sleep that night. 

\-- 

“Hey, dude,” Ned said, holding his hand out to do their handshake. But Peter didn’t reciprocate the action. In fact, Peter looked like death, and Ned would be surprised if he could make it through the day without passing out. “Shit, Peter, what happened?” 

Peter didn’t respond, brushing past Ned and into his chemistry class. 

Huh. 

\-- 

Ned liked to think that he was a good friend. Throughout Peter’s life, a lot of Bad Shit had happened, and Ned had been there through everything. 

Because of this, he knew that the worst thing to do when Peter was going through it, was to approach the issue head-on. Ned had compiled a list - ‘The Foolproof Plan To Cheer Up Peter Parker.’ 

The first step was to figure out what got Peter down. Ned’s initial instinct was to check the Spidey-Watch Twitter account he followed to see if anything happened to Peter on patrol. 

At first glance, it seemed to have been a relatively quiet night, but one Tweet said ‘Spider-Man seems to be stopping his patrol earlier than usual. Goodnight, Spider-Man!’ 

Something must have happened to make Peter leave patrol early. Peter felt that he had to carry the weight of Queens on his shoulders, and he always put Spider-Man ahead of his personal heath. Ignoring Ned, May, and Mr. Stark’s view on that matter, Peter never stopped patrolling early unless something was wrong. Never. 

Ned hummed to himself as his calculus teacher continued on and on about derivatives, and pulled up the Spider-Man fan base website. It was a tad creepy, but the users tracked Spider-Man's every move on patrols. They did agree as a collective to respect Spider-Man's secret identity, which was good, because their commitment combined with Peter’s inability to maintain secrets? Bad combination. 

Scrolling through the feed, Ned eventually found a basic timeline of Peter’s patrol, underneath a lot of posts speculating as to why Peter finished up early. Okay, the fan base was borderline creepy, but Ned did what he had to do to cheer Peter up. 

The last place Spider-Man was seen was at a mugging. He reportedly saved a six-year-old boy, Charlie Brown, but it had been a close call. Diving a little deeper, perhaps illegally, Ned discovered that Charlie had been grazed by the bullet, and that he would likely develop a permanent scar. 

Oh. Ned’s first thought was relief that Charlie was alive. Honestly, Peter was way too hard on himself. He had saved the boy. _He had saved the boy’s life._

Sighing, Ned moved onto step two: a Spider-Man problem or a Peter Parker problem? Ned guessed that the mugging hit a little too close to home, but overall, he decided that the things Peter was struggling with aligned with the things he struggled with as Spider-Man, so Ned decided to take that path. 

Ned got to the stem of the problem - guilt - and found the solution: affirm Peter’s goodness, take his mind off the issue, and try to help him understand that everyone makes mistakes. Step 1 was pretty damn easy, considering the fact that Peter was the very definition of the word ‘good.’ Unfortunately, Peter had a hard time seeing this, leading to Step 3. 

For some reason, Peter got it in his head that because of his mutations, he wasn’t allowed to fuck up. But even though he was part spider, he was still mostly human, and every human fucked up, even Tony Stark. 

Tony Stark. 

Ned could go through that route, asking Mr. Stark for backup. But Ned quickly dismissed this idea, partly because he was still a little afraid of the man, and mostly because this didn’t seem like too big of a deal. Ned could handle this one himself. 

And then, an idea. 

Grinning, Ned shut his laptop. This would be perfect. 

\-- 

Peter was like a ghost the entire day, nodding along to whatever Ned said, picking at his food, staring blankly at the wall. Ned could practically feel the waves of guilt radiating off of him, and it physically pained Ned to see his friend like that. 

Eventually, the day drew to a close, and Peter was on his way out the door when Ned stopped him. “I want to take you to this club I joined a little while ago. I’m the president,” he boasted, grinning. 

“Can we do this another day, Ned?” Peter muttered, his eyes staring through Ned, rather than at him. 

“Sorry, man, this is a today thing.” 

Ned felt a bit guilty dragging his half-asleep friend through Midtown’s hallways, but it was for his health, so that eased his guilt away. Eventually, the pair reached room 103, and Ned cracked the door open, finding the other five members of the club already seated. 

Suzan, Jackson, Abbie, Charles, and Flash. Yes, Flash. 

“Uh, hi?” Peter said, raising an eyebrow at Ned, who was vibrating with excitement. 

“You want to join?” Suzan asked, gesturing to the table. 

“Um, what exactly is this?” 

Ned’s grin spread from ear-to-ear. “The Spider-Man Fan Club!” 

Peter’s jaw dropped. “The - Spider-Man Fan Club.” 

Ned nodded. 

“But - why? I mean, the other Avengers are the real heroes. Spider-Man's just some freak who dresses up in spandex and swings around – that’s not hero material.” 

“Bullshit!” Flash screamed. “Spider-Man looks out for the little guy. The Avengers don’t give a shit about everyday people. The other day, I saw Spider-Man help an old man across the street while holding someone’s groceries. You think an Avenger would do that?” 

“Exactly!” Peter erupted. “Anyone could do that! Spider-Man's – he's – he can do things that other people can’t, and he spends his time rescuing cats.” 

Charles crossed his arms. “Spider-Man cares about everyone he sees, he’s one of the best people in the world, in or out of the suit, that’s the point. Just because he has powers, he doesn’t let that get to his head. He still cares about everyday people.” 

“Does he?” Peter screamed. “Tell that to Charlie Brown. He’ll have permanent trauma because -” 

“Peter,” Ned said softly. “Spider-Man saved his life. I’m sure his entire family is grateful -” 

Peter started sobbing, collapsing against a wall and throwing his head in his lap. “He - he was so small. And he had so many fucking tubes in him, because he lost too much blood, and if I had gotten there a few minutes sooner...” 

Ned rushed over to envelop his friend in a hug, as the rest of the fan club gaped at what they were seeing. 

“Uh, Parker?” Flash asked timidly. “Did you, um, know... Charlie?” 

After wiping his eyes, Peter looked up. His face flickered from confusion, to realization, to concentration. “Yeah, yeah,” Peter said. “Charlie. My... cousin.” 

“Cousin?” Suzan asked skeptically. 

“Yep!” Peter cheered. “Cousin.” 

“Well, did you stop to think about the fact that if Spider-Man hadn’t been there, Charlie would have died?” Abbie said. 

“Spider-Man _has_ to be there. That’s the whole point of him. Besides, you don't know that. Maybe the man wouldn't have shot if I - if he wasn't there.” 

“Spider-Man’s a person underneath the mask,” said Ned. “He doesn’t have to take responsibility for an entire city. No one would blame him if he took a few mental health days.” 

“I can’t, Ned,” Peter groaned. “With great power, comes great responsibility. It was just like Ben, man.” 

As Peter continued to cry into his best friend, the rest of the club shared shocked expressions. No. No way, right? No way Peter Parker was Spider-Man? 

“Uh...” Abbie began. “Ned?” 

Ned didn’t respond, focusing on his friend who was crying next to him. After a few minutes, Peter regained composure, and horror filled his features. 

“Whoopsies,” Peter said. 

“No way,” Flash muttered. ”You - you can’t be -” 

Peter flipped onto the ceiling and gave Flash an unimpressed look. “Why can’t I be him, Flash? Because I’m so fucking pathetic? I’m well aware.” 

“No,” Flash said. “Because... how can you possibly do it? You’re just a kid.” 

Peter wiped his eyes on the back of his shirt and leaned on Ned for support. “Like I said. With great power comes great responsibility.” Turning to Ned, he said, “Thanks for this, Ned. It really helped.” 

And with that, Peter leapt out the window, returning Ned’s grin. 

The Spider-Man Fan Club stood, frozen in shock. 

“Do you think we could get him as a guest speaker?” Jackson said eventually. 


	20. cloakie saves the day.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this prompt is from user coffeegrump: “As for prompts, maybe anything involving the fondness Dr. Strange's sentient cloak seems to have for Peter.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> spider-man no way home, spider-man no way home, spider-man no way home (!!!!!)
> 
> i saw the news and immediately wrote this instead of doing the work i had finally started, so,, here.
> 
> also i don't know very much about doctor strange or academic decathalon, so forgive any inaccuracies! 
> 
> enjoy!

The first time Peter met Cloakie, he had just watched his mentor (father?) sacrifice himself for the good of the universe, and heard the man's heart stop several times. In short, it wasn't in good circumstances.

Peter had been using his sticky powers to adhere to the wall across from the operation room, wishing they would let him enter. At that moment, he couldn't think about the fact that he had been dead for five years, and he couldn't wonder if Ned, MJ, and May were five years older, all he could focus on was the calming _tha-thump. tha-thump._ of Mr. Stark's heart.

A few Avengers tried to get him to eat, talk to him about what had happened, or reassure him that everything would be alright, but if he was being honest, Peter didn't care. 

Steve told Peter that Tony was strong, that he would pull through. (Peter didn't respond.)

Clint told Peter that he needed to eat. (Peter didn't respond.)

Sam asked Peter if he wanted to talk. (Peter didn't respond.)

Natasha slapped Peter and told him that he needed to pull himself together. (Peter teared up a bit, but didn't respond.)

Rhodey, Pepper, Happy, and a five-year-old girl soon joined him. Pepper rubbed soothing circles on Peter's back, and she reminded Peter in that moment of Aunt May. He should really figure out where Aunt May was. 

When the little girl saw him, her eyes physically widened and she jumped into his arms.

"You caught me because of your spidey-senses! Daddy says it's a silly name, but I think it's cool!"

Peter glanced at Pepper, who was stifling a laugh. "Um... hi?" He finally managed.

"I'm Morgan, and you're my big brother, Petey!"

Well. That wasn't true. Rhodey snorted at Peter's bewildered face, which was no help at all, and Happy took Morgan from Peter. Before he could ask anything, his spidey-sense alerted him to danger, and, sure enough, something was flying straight at him.

Peter caught it with a slight _oomf,_ and glanced at the wriggling thing. It was Doctor Strange's cloak, the weird wizard man who had said it had been five years! It had been five years... five years of memes, of Star Wars, of Tony having a daughter -

"There it is," Doctor Strange muttered as he appeared through a portal. "My apologies, Peter, the cloak was worried for your well-being."

Peter petted it like a dog. "It's kind of cute." The cloak seemingly melted under his praise, like a pet would, and Peter grinned. "Can I keep it?"

Doctor Strange rolled his eyes. "No."

And, with that, the cloak was no longer in his arms and Doctor Strange was no longer in front of him.

\--

Tony lived, May hadn't snapped, Ned and MJ had, and Peter was okay.

After the whole being-dead-for-five-years thing, everyone had come to their senses, and the Rogue Avengers were officially pardoned, and relocated to the Avengers Tower. Peter still lived in Queens, but every few days he would stop by, have a Lab Day with Mr. Stark, and sometimes watch a movie with the Rogues.

Doctor Strange was there, too, sometimes.

If Peter hadn't gotten accustomed to Tony's strange way of giving affection, he wouldn't have thought that Doctor Strange liked him very much. But his cloak, Cloakie, as Peter had named it, certainly did! The cloak followed Peter around like a duckling, and when Peter entered the Tower and Doctor Strange was there, he was usually greeted by an armful of cloak.

Peter loved his friendship with Cloakie. He only had two friends, unless you counted Mr. Stark, Mr. Rhodey, or Ms. Pepper, and it was always nice to find someone new. That said, Cloakie may have loved its friendship with Peter even more, which created problems for Doctor Strange.

\--

Peter bounced his leg as MJ called out practice questions for their upcoming meet.

"What bond involves the sharing of electron pairs between different atoms?"

Flash dinged his bell, which had jostled with a bump from the cliche yellow school bus, but quickly regained his composure, and yelled out: "Convoluted Bond!"

MJ rolled her eyes. "Nope."

Shyly, Peter dinged his bell. "Covalent Bond."

"Correct," MJ said, grinning slightly, as the bus ground to a stop. "The fuck?" She muttered. 

The bus driver cursed loudly. "Sorry, guys, something's wrong with the engine," he said, facing the anxious teenagers. "I'm going to try to fix it now, stay here."

"Will we get to our match on time?" Betty asked, cracking her knuckles nervously.

"I don't know, depends on what's wrong."

Mr. Harrington glanced apologetically at the team, and followed Michael, the bus driver, off, as they attempted to fix the broken engine.

"We'll be fine," MJ said, forcing a tight-lipped smile. "Who was the last tsar of Russia?"

 _Ding._ Came Abe's bell, and MJ nodded at him. "Nicholas II."

\--

A few more minutes passed, and Michael and Mr. Harrington eventually emerged, looking somber. Peter's spidey-sense went off dully.

"Sorry, everyone," Michael said. "We need some extra parts that won't get here for at least an hour. You won't be able to make it."

There were various cries of anger, disappointment, and despair, and Peter's spidey-sense continued to go off.

"Huh," Peter muttered. "That's weird."

"I'll call the heads of the tournament now," Mr. Harrington said, "And explain the situation. I'm sure they'll be understanding."

As he reached into his pocket for his phone, a bright light from outside the dirty windows caught Peter's attention. 

"Fuck," he whispered, and Ned glanced at him in confusion, before gaping at seeing an Avenger right outside his bus.

"Holy shit!" Flash said. "Is that Doctor Strange?"

Everyone moved to look out the window, and sure enough, a pissed Doctor Strange was appearing through a portal, raising an eyebrow at the pulled-over bus. The wizard began moving towards them, and everyone starting buzzing excitedly. They may miss their meet, but they were meeting a savior of the universe!

Doctor Strange knocked on the bus door, and Michael eagerly pulled it open for him, stuttering something that Doctor Strange didn't bother to stick around for. He brushed through the aisles until he came upon Peter, and Cloakie eagerly jumped off of Doctor Strange's back and into Peter's open arms.

"Hey, there, Cloakie!" Peter muttered, his slight annoyance at Doctor Strange for visiting him in front of his classmates slowly dissipating. "I've missed you, buddy!"

The cloak wiggled around, brushing where its head would be against Peter's shoulder, and Peter laughed at the ticklish sensation.

"Um, Dr. Strange?" Cindy asked. "How do you know Peter?"

Doctor Strange rolled his eyes (fondly), and said, "My cloak has taken a liking to him."

Peter continued to play with the cloak in front of his awestruck teammates and an annoyed Doctor Strange, before an idea occurred to him. "Mr. Doctor Strange, sir?"

"For the last time, Peter, 'Doctor Strange' is not my 'made-up name,' I am a neurosurgeon."

"Yeah, anyway, my AcaDec team is kind of stuck, and we're going to miss our match... do you think that you could do your hand-wavey wizard thing and magic us there?"

Doctor Strange sighed heavily. "I'm a master of the mystic arts -"

" - wizard -"

"And there are more important things in the multiverse than your Academic Decathalon team missing a match."

Peter raised an eyebrow. "Ah, yes, like visiting me because your cloak was bothering you." Cloakie deflated at that, so Peter stroked it's back. "Don't worry, Cloakie, I love hanging out with you!" Cloakie perked back up, and Peter imagined that it would be grinning if it had a mouth. "Mr. Doctor Strange, if Cloakie could talk, he would want you to help us. Pleaseeeeee?" 

To seal the deal, Peter gave his patented Puppy Dog Look, and as Doctor Strange squeezed his eyes shut in annoyance, Peter knew that they had done their job. 

"Fine," Doctor Strange said. "How much longer until your match begins?"

Checking his watch, Peter gawked. "We have to sign in in ten minutes!"

"Very well."

Doctor Strange tapped his wrists together and made some mysterious motions with his hands, conjuring up orange-gold geometric shapes of magic, and the next thing Peter knew there was a portal at the side of the bus, revealing the campus where the match was taking place.

"One at a time," Doctor Strange muttered as Flash threw himself into the portal, and the other students began shoving for their spot. Mr. Harrington went once all of the students had left, save Peter, Ned, and MJ, and once he had gone, Peter smiled shyly at Doctor Strange. "Thank you, Mr. Doctor Strange. Thank you, Cloakie."

And with that, Peter handed back Cloakie and the three friends jumped through the portal.

"Um," a woman holding several folders said as she gawked at the portal that disappeared. "W-What?"

"Yeah, what the hell, Peter?" Sally asked, raising her eyebrows up to her hairline.

"I - er - pet-sit Cloakie for Mr. Doctor Strange?"

The folder-woman quickly shut her jaw, which had been hanging open, and assumed a facade of false nonchalance. "Hello, my name is Emily, and welcome to Stuyvesant High School! Let me direct you to the sign-in room."

Shakily, everyone followed Emily, casting glances at Peter every once in a while.

(They won the match, and Doctor Strange bought Peter a tub of special Spider-Man flavored ice-cream for the victory. He said that it had been Cloakie's idea, but Peter knew better.)


	21. spidey-sense struggles.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt for castvx - peter gets jump scared and ends up on the ceiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ,,,,, ngl this is kind of a mess and not at all how peter's spidey-sense works, but - mm there is no but. that's all. you can yell at me in the comments i apologize in advance
> 
> specifically for this chapter i feel the need to reiterate that i am my own beta (a nice way of telling you that this is probably filled with mistakes)
> 
> sorry that i haven't updated in a while, ive been having a stressful week and i was reading more than writing, but i wrote this today, and i'll be more active this week because i'm pretty free! 
> 
> maybe? there will be another update today, but most likely at least one more before friday.
> 
> i also realized that i never really write any aftermath of people finding out that peter is spider-man, so i kind of did that because this was short. 
> 
> as always, comments and kudos are my life force, and if you have any prompts or requests, feel free to submit!
> 
> enjoy???

Peter’s senses had been going crazy all day. 

It wasn’t a sensory overload type of thing, thankfully. No, the problem was his spidey-senses feeling the need to go berserk at everything. It was difficult to be angry at them, because they were one of his most useful powers, but did he really need a spike of super-anxiety every single time Flash threw a spitball at him? 

As his body stiffened and he felt a flood of unrelenting panic, a soggy wad of paper hitting him in the scalp, Peter decided on a definitive no.

During the school day, Peter generally ignored his spidey-senses, and it tended to be easy enough. Flash wasn’t enough of a threat for him to experience any real discomfort. Unfortunately, everything glitched eventually (except Stark tech, as Tony would say), and the day was getting progressively harder and harder to get through. 

Peter snapped his pencil in half as he fought to control the urge to **_DO SOMETHING_ **before yet another spitball made contact with his head. 

“Peter,” MJ said, raising an eyebrow. “Is everything okay?” 

“Actually -” 

“Yeah, I don’t care. Go get a new pencil.” MJ flipped through the AcaDec practice questions and rattled off another question, the tiny crease between her eyebrows giving her away. 

Peter gave her a halfhearted smile as he awkwardly shuffled to the supply closet, baring his teeth as the familiar jolt of his spidey-sense spiked through his body. Stifling a groan, Peter slammed his head against the cabinet, cringing as he saw a head-shaped dent form in the steel. 

And yet, no projectiles had lodged themselves in his curls. Huh. What was wrong, then? The hairs on the back of his arms continued to stick up, and Peter heard the sound of a scream, just a few blocks away from the school. 

“Um, MJ, I need to step out for a second.” 

“Seriously?” 

Peter shrugged apologetically and she waved him off, whispering “stay safe” under her breath, knowing that only Peter could hear her. 

He nodded gravely and ran out the door, throwing on his spider-suit in the alley behind his high school. 

“Hey, Karen, what’s up?” 

“There is an altercation between several known high-level drug dealers.” 

Peter nodded and webbed his way across the street, his spidey-sense buzzing with every semi-close call that would have led to him becoming a flat spider. 

Finally, he arrived at the alley. There were about seven people, all fighting, and one seemed to have a head injury, leaning against the wall. 

“Not gonna let you do that,” Peter chirped as he webbed a gun away from one of the fighters. Immediately, everyone turned to face Peter with murderous gazes, and they turned their attention from each other to him. 

Peter simply grinned as he webbed everyone’s fists together before they could get any punches in. He had been training with Nat a lot lately, and his reaction times and fighting stance had definitely improved. After everyone was webbed up, Peter decided to wait with them until the police arrived. 

“Hm,” Peter muttered, dragging the criminals next to each other. “You two have some chemistry.” Peter said, gesturing to a blonde man with a scar under his eye and another man wearing black eyeliner. He dragged the two together and leaned the blonde man against eyeliner guy, cooing softly at the angry glares they threw his way, before they melted into each other. “Aww! I knew it!” Peter exclaimed, his spidey-sense flaring as the police arrived. 

“Hey, guys!” Peter said. “Can you keep those two together? Because I really ship them.” 

Cop #1 shot him a bewildered look, and Cop #2 seemed to have resigned herself to Peter’s shenanigans, giving him a tight grin. 

Once everyone had been taken in, Peter changed out of his suit and ran back into school, watching MJ’s face soften as she saw him return in one piece. 

“Grab a bell, loser, we’re doing science drills.” 

Peter nodded and soon lost himself in the mind-numbing questions, his hand dinging the bell and his mouth sprouting the answer before his brain could catch up. He was hardly aware of anything - his spidey-senses gloriously silent – and all eyes were soon on him, stunned into silence by speed in which Peter was answering the questions. 

But Peter wasn’t aware of this, his consciousness basically clouded over. 

Until a shock passed through his body. 

If Peter had been aware, he would have registered this as his spidey-senses alerting him to something. But Peter wasn’t aware in that moment, and he immediately jumped onto the ceiling, scanning the room for danger, and blinking hard to regain control of his mind. 

After a few seconds, Peter did regain control. And found his AcaDec team slack-jawed, eyes wide, shaking slightly from shock. 

“Fuck,” Peter whispered as he detached himself from the ceiling. 

“He’s not Spider-Man!” Ned exclaimed, his eyes flitting nervously from teammate to teammate. “It’s - it’s me! I’m Spider-Man! And, uh, he’s using my – my sticky shoes!” 

MJ rolled her eyes, while Peter nodded frantically. “Y-Yep! Ned Leeds is Spider-Man!” And then - “Wait, Ned, how is that going to help anything?” 

“Uhhh,” Ned said. “No one would come after May?” 

“Ned! But people would come after you and Mrs. Leeds, and -” 

“We won’t tell anyone,” Flash said solemnly. “Promise. No one will come after your families.” 

Peter anxiously glanced at each of his teammates and exhaled, finding sincerity in all of their eyes. 

“Okay,” Peter said. “Thank you guys. I – I'm Spider-Man.” 

\-- 

**[bonus drabbles:]**

**gym class.**

“If anyone dings the bell,” Coach Wilson said, gesturing at the small bells that lay at the top of the ropes. “Principal Morita told me I could throw your whole class a pizza party.” 

_Wow,_ Peter thought. _This is how low the bar is._

Cindy and Abe jolted him out of his thoughts, poking his back repeatedly. 

“Do it, Peter!” Abe hissed, while Cindy gave him a meaningful nod. 

_With great power comes great responsibility_ , thought Peter. _I have to do this._

\-- 

The pizza was delicious, and it was definitely worth it. 

**the injury:**

“I do not need to go to the nurse!” Peter yelled for the hundredth time, clutching his stab wound to stem to bleeding. “It’s not even that deep!” 

“Peter,” Betty said. “There is a hole in your stomach.” 

“You’re a hole in my stomach,” Peter muttered before passing out from blood loss. 

\-- 

When Peter awoke in the Med-Bay, each of his teammates took turns slapping him across the face. 

**finals week:**

*also known as the week peter found out that he hibernated 

*also known as the week in which tony used the “appendicitis” excuse one too many times 

*also known as the week principal morita learned that peter was spider-man 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ive been wanting to write ned trying to cover for peter in a situation like this for a really long time, so here it is :)
> 
> in other completely unrelated news i was thinking about those fics where may gets a (nice) boyfriend and then i was thinking about how there aren't any with may's girlfriend and then i was thinking about the may/pepper ship and now i need to write something like this. send help i can't stop thinking about it


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